Good As Dead

Chapter Nine

It's Friday and every bone in my fucking body hurts as I watch the sky turn pink with dawn. My ribcage aches with each breath, my arms feel like jelly, and my eyes burn from staying up through the night, half-believing I wouldn't make it to this morning. That Valentine would find another way in.

But from the moment Gran shut the door in his face, I didn't see another sign of him. Gran went to bed right after, returning to her room unassisted, something she hasn't been able to do in months. I still can't wrap my head around it. When I tried to help her, she insisted I didn't need to fuss and that she wanted time alone to get ready for the trip. I was too stunned to tell her we don't have any trip planned.

She's still asleep, and from the silence outside, the rest of the world is, too. I feel so alone, I think I could scream my throat raw without being noticed.

My thumb runs along the edges of Desmond Healy's card, wearing the corners to nubs. I wanted to call for hours, from the moment the sprites in my phone recovered from Valentine's spell, but I figure waking up my estranged relatives at an ungodly time in the night isn't the best way to convince them to see me again. And I'm not sure I even need to. The INKtech agent is coming today. But everytime I tell myself it'll all be fine, it feels like that fucker's tongue is on my neck again.

And I want more reassurance than whatever can be offered by a stranger who sees me as a case. Even if it's just from strangers who share genetic material with me. At least they knew my mom. I had the entire night to think things over, and what I keep coming back to, beside the look in Zoe's eyes when she saw me and the sound of Valentine's human skin splitting apart, is why Laci approached me.

Obviously, to help find Melanie, but why me? The shock in her eyes when I told her I was hardly a wolf witch must mean she counted on me knowing and being a lot more than I am. But she knew I had no clue about that life. What did she learn about wolves to make her come calling, anyway?

Warm light streams over me. I spent enough time brooding here on the couch for the sun to fully rise.

Carefully, I pull my phone out of my pocket, wincing as even that little movement sends lightning bolts of pain throughout me. Fuck, do I feel like roadkill. I could barely wash the soap from my hair in the shower; I think the only reason I managed to was because it otherwise meant staying covered in Zoe's ashes. Zoe. My mind flinches at her name; I think her last words will be burned into me forever. I killed her.

Trying to focus, I punch in the number and wait, heart beating a little faster. When I'm only shot over to Desmond's message center, I'm so disappointed my voice shakes. "Hi, um, I'm trying to reach the Red Devil Mountain pack. My name's Phoenix Belmonte."

My cheeks flush over my obvious Amstar accent, and I hurry on. "I was told it's my mom's birth pack—her name was Inez—and since she died when I was little, I don't remember anything about her, and never had a chance to learn about you. I know it's weird to want to reconnect after all this time, but..."

My words falter. How the fuck do I summarize the past week without sounding like a lunatic? Better forget that part for now, and bring it up later if I get that far. "I'd really appreciate hearing back from anyone who's willing to talk. Here's my phone number."

After giving it, I end the call, watching my hand tremble around the phone. I don't know if it's from nerves or tired muscles. Maybe another shower will help. The thought of soothing, hot water is enough to make me grit my teeth and get up from the couch. Better check on Gran first, though, before I spend a chunk of time unable to hear anything over the sound of hissing water.

Pain flares in the joints in my fingers when I twist the door handle to her room, intending to take a quick peek to make sure she's breathing. But the door only opens a crack; something's wedged against it on the other side.