Hi Friend

Chapter 17

Chapter 17 – Edited by TheNightSky

Scha sat in her office with mixed feelings. Zen’s distraught and sad face kept playing in her head. Even though he tried to act normal in front of her, she could still see the hurt in his eyes. Gosh, she had hurt his feelings badly. She had broken the heart of a man who loves her. The way he had said it and the way his eyes glowed when he told her those words had made her see right through his heart. He had loved her with all his heart. If she hadn’t fall in love with someone else she would have accepted his love.

She remember her mom used to tell her, “ You should love the person who loves you the most, NOT someone whom you think you love, because the person who loves you, will love you will all his heart,” and she knows Zen would do just that, but.......?

BUT how she could love him if her heart is yearning for someone else? Someone else... she chuckled. That someone else didn’t even know her feelings and she didn’t even know if he felt the same towards her. What happen if that someone rejected her love? Will she be as hurt as Zen’s feelings right now? Will Zen laugh at her for rejecting his love and seek someone else’s love? No, Zen wouldn’t do that. Zen is the most wonderful and charming guy to ever do that to her. If she ever is hurt, Zen would be there for her. She knew he would, even though she had hurt him, she knew he would never leave her side. Yeah, Zen is such a wonderful guy and she is such a dork, she admitted to herself. Dee Dee would definitely smack her head for rejecting Zen and all this while Dee Dee was right. Zen loves her.

She hasn’t told anyone about Zen confession, not even to Dee Dee. She didn’t want their friends to cast an awkward or sorry look at Zen. Maybe they will be supportive to him and scold her for breaking his heart but she thought that’s the last thing Zen ever wants people to treat them. Just look at the way he treated her even after she had hurt his feelings. He still treats her the same like he used to but of course this time the glow in his eyes wasn’t there anymore. It’s gone. She knows that he has acted that way because he doesn’t want her to have the guilty feeling towards him. Gosh, she knows that everyone will say that she is so stupid for rejecting someone like him, someone as wonderful and charming as him. He even became romantic. She smiled dreamingly remembering the romantic dinner she had with him.

She heaved loudly. Does she feeling regret right now? Regret that she rejected him? No, she convinced herself, she’s not and she’s actually feeling guilty, guilty of hurting her best friend. But how long is this guilty feeling going to hurt her? Every time she thought of Zen, the memory from last night came back to her especially his hurt and sad face. Damn it, she scolded herself, she needs to do something – something to make him cheerful again and forget about him. Maybe the only way to make those things happened is by avoiding him. Maybe time will heal his heart and time will heal their friendship back to normal. Yeah, she nodded to herself, she need to avoid Zen and let him heal his heart. That’s the best things to do for the moment until both she and Zen had forgotten about the last night incidents.

Maybe now she should just concentrate on HIM.

HIM.... him who never even bother to reply to her tons of e-mails. Yeah, TONS OF E-MAILS and also her comments on his writings. Even though she had commented on them earlier, she commented again and again and normally he would response but this time it was just blank. Nothing from him not a single word, ever since the last time when he told her that the girl he admired doesn’t seem to fall in love with him. Is he feeling so badly hurt right now that he didn’t even have to heart to write anything? She needed to encourage him to write. If he’s hurt she’s going to be the one to mend his broken heart. She will try to tell him her feelings but how is she going to do that when he didn’t even respond to her e-mails? Don’t give up, she told herself. She needed to keep on writing to him until he responded to her. Then she will admit her love to him. Yes she will confess her love to him and she didn’t care if he rejected her later on. At least she would know what he’s feeling towards her. What would happen if he rejected her? She asked herself. No, she would not let the negative feeling control her. Will accept her? And if he does reject her, she will deal with her feelings later.

Straightening up, she looked at her computer and began to type, “Hi my darling friend. Where have you been? Please write some more beautiful and romantic poems to me again. I’ve missed it. I miss it so much. If your girl doesn’t like to read it let her be. Write one for me please. I’m begging you. You are not going to let me down, are you? Please, I’m waiting. By the way since I’m not good at writing any poems and stuff I’m dedicating this song to you. It’s my favourite. Title of the song is ‘My Wish’ by Rascal Flatts. Listen to the lyrics carefully because it is what is implied in my heart,” she wrote and end it with, “Love you and missed you always – Scha.”

MY WISH – RASCAL FLATTS

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow
And each road leads you where you want to go
And if you're faced with the choice and you have to choose
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you

And if one door opens to another door closed
I hope you keep on walkin' til you find the window
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile
But more than anything, more than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish

I hope you never look back but you never forget
All the ones who love you and the place you left
I hope you always forgive and you never regret
And you help somebody every chance you get

Oh, you'd find God's grace in every mistake
And always give more than you take
But more than anything, yeah more than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish, yeah yeah

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish
(My wish for you)

This is my wish
(My wish for you)
I hope you know somebody loves you
(My wish for you)
May all your dreams stay big
(My wish for you)

*****

Laying on his bed, Zen was relieved that he didn’t have to face Scha the whole day today. Scha has been busy the whole day with meetings with clients to discuss her next project, while he is busy with his own projects. Zen was thinking maybe she’s trying to avoid him too because she would normally inform him about the meeting before leaving but this time she didn’t. This is what Zen was afraid was going to happen when Scha knew of his true feelings. She told him that she wanted them to remain friends but she’s the one who been has avoiding him. Shouldn’t it be the other way round?

Good thing he was so busy with his own project and it helped him to stop thinking about Scha. Thankfully, Luna is around and she has been a lot of help. She wasn’t in tonight because she had a fashion show to attend and he regretted that he had denied her offer to follow her. At least if he did, he wouldn’t feel bored right now and start to think about Scha again. Thinking about Scha really hurts right now.

Ignoring the hurt and the frustrations he’s feeling, Zen got up from his bed and sat in front of his computer. Something is pulled him to open his writing’s website. He hasn’t been writing anything for nearly a week now. Reluctantly, he logged-in and saw a new message appearing on the screen indicating that there’s a new comment on his writing, opening it up he saw a comment coming from Scha herself.

It read “Hey friend, I missed your poems.”

Looking at her comments, reminded him of all her e-mails to him which he didn’t respond. Should he open and read it now? He asked himself. Can he read her e-mail now knowing that she’s in love with Jeff? Can he go through with her bragging about her love to Jeff? Zen sighed. Maybe he should just delete her e-mails and forget about it. Never respond to her e-mails ever again and forget about her. He need to move on he told himself.

Yes, that’s what he’s going to do. DELETE HER E-MAILS AND CLOSE HIS ACCOUNT ON THE SITE FOREVER.