Death and Love

Part 1: The Betrayal

All I feel right now is betrayal. A cold heartless betrayal. Betrayal is like a knife in your back. It causes a big wound, gushing out dark crimson blood that brings searing pain. Pain that brings agonizing torture that you just can't stand. The time pain is the most unbearable is when you are betrayed by your best friend. That friend you known all your life has done something to you that can't be forgiven, I feel like this is the end. I felt betrayal before. People would shun me out of class and activities. I was unpopular because people thought I was weird. I don't know why someone would think that, There's nothing wrong with me. I'm just unique. I couldn't stand the bullying. They would call me horrible names like, crybaby, loser, waste of space, till I broke into tears. They would point and laugh at me till I couldn't stand there anymore. I would run away like the baby people were calling me. I don't know why I was unpopular. I was pretty, but I guess even if you are pretty, they will find a way to break you, make you feel worthless that if you left the Earth, no one would care. I don't know why I'm the victim here. I was the kind of girl that liked everyone. I was never mean to anyone. I did all my work on time and didn't bother anyone. Why would someone do this to me? I only knew one person who could of started this whole messed up life of mine. My ex-best friend. Damn these selfish spoiled rich girls. They think they are better than everybody else just because they are rich. They are always trying to act like queen bees that have power over everybody else. I had no one to help me. Not even the teachers would listen. There were too blind in their work to even listen. When school was over that was even worse. They would catch me on the bus or sidewalk and start teasing me, calling me names, and thats when the beatings started. I would come home with bruises and cuts on myself. My mom would asked me a few times what happened to me. I don't know why I didn't tell her then. All I asked was for someone to be there for me. I guess I was too embarrassed and scared to tell anyone so I just made up a lie about my injuries. She didn't seem to believe me because she had this look on her face that she always has when I try to lie, but she had so much work going on so she couldn't focus on me a lot. I began to cut myself that night to ease the pain away but it never did. The cuts would just haunt me and remind me what's more to come at school. I couldn't stop though, it's like a was possessed. I wanted to stop but it felt like I had another person in me, telling me to keep harming myself. I wish I never started. The bullies took notice of my cuts. They definitely knew that I was trapped in there world of torture. I didn't like it one bit but what can I do. The bullies were much bigger and stronger than me. There powerful fist could knock me out in an instance. I could remember a saying, "People say sticks and stones can break your bones but names will never hurt me." That's not the least bit true. I have been taunted, teased, beat up for too long and I want it to stop. The names are killing me on the inside. It's making me feel so worthless. It's agonizing knowing that I have to go to school every day and no one is gonna save me from this torturous life. Why couldn't I have told my parents before. I could have ended this nightmare. I want this hatred toward me to stop. People are even bullying me online. I don't know how they got my email but ever since they got it, they can torture me even more and I won't know who it is. I'm not safe anywhere. My whole life is my own personal hell. Sometimes I wish I could die, but I can't. My parents would be heartbroken. If they lost their only daughter, that would be a complete disaster to their souls. I couldn't do that to them. They are amazing people, they don't deserve that depression in their lives. Why couldn't I face my fears and stand up to them. I could have been happy for once in my life. No one cares for me anymore. Nobody would care if I just died. I just never thought I would die by someone close to my heart.