addict with a pen | phan

one

[none of the pictures have anything to do with the story they're all just my stash of dnp]

Phil

the dark was a fear I never had.
the as people say "natural" fear of the dark sprouted in me only temporarily, before i realized that it was idiotic of me to be afraid of the dark.

the dark couldn't hurt me.

I've come to realize that the fear of the dark sprouts from the fear of the unknown.

as humans we know little to nothing about what the world around us is actually doing. we think we do, but in reality we don't.

we attempt to prevent the worst conflicts from happening, mostly we try to prevent death.

although, death is something we cannot prevent. death is inevitable.
so now i wonder, what is the real point of life?

my pen stroked along the rigid paper, the ink swirling into letters, the words spilling out of my finger tips like a broken faucet. i put my pen down, closing my eyes and letting the sounds of the piano drift into my ears, swirling around my brain. i let out a deep breath, closing my notebook and walking over to my wooden desk, in which my laptop sat, playing my favorite video.

i stared at the screen at the small brown-haired boy poking along the length of the piano. the playing ended, and the boy made eye contact with the camera, saying "that was all. thank you for watching."

the screen went black. i sighed, clicking out of the video and into his youtube. his youtube name was danspiano, and i assumed that his name was dan. every other day, i sat on my bed and wrote to his soft piano playing. he had accumulated only a few thousand subscribers over the four years that he had been on youtube, and only a few hundred from the time that i had been subscribed to him. i had been tired of hearing my brother's loud, sloppy piano playing from across the hall, and searched for a new source of piano playing.

i picked up my notebook again, scanning over the few words that i had written, deciding that i didn't like it. i tore out the page, tossing it into the bin. i heard footsteps from the hallway nearing my bedroom door, shortly followed by a few knocks.

"it's open."

"hey phil" martyn said, stepping into the doorway.

"hi, what do you want?" i asked, trying to let him know that now was not the best time.

"um, well you know how i play piano and everything?" he asked.

"yes, you have been for the past four years mar," i sighed.

"well my recital is in a couple weeks and i, uh, was, uh, wondering if you like, wanted to come or whatever."

"i'd love to mar, just please go to bed it's already late and you have school tomorrow." i said standing up from my chair and walking over to him, patting him on the back.

"so do you water buffalo!" he laughed giving me a quick hug before closing the door and saying 'goodnight'.

i grabbed my laptop from my desk checking the time. '23:47'. i yawned, shutting it down and setting it beside me, a tad disappointed that i wasn't able to stay up and watch dan's videos. i shut my eyes, thinking of the sweet sound of the piano, letting it drift me into sleep.

heyO brOs
so the chapters are going to be kept short only because i'm a lazy asshole who doesn't want to write a whole bunch, and keeping the chapters short will make me update more often.
thank you for reading!!
-jane