addict with a pen | phan

four

phil

they used to say how it was sad how you let yourself go, but it wasn't sad, more monotone as the fact is that no one really cared until you took your last breath, and your lungs deflated. that was when their mouths would refuse to close, and they'd say things as "we were close" or "they'll really be missed". unfortunately you'll only become known for what you weren't, and what you could've been. you've only just now had your name turned into a conversation piece among people who never had the nerve to say sorry. and i apologize personally because trust me it was more than just another event in the news. i'll still attempt to keep your wishes of my happiness steady, but as of now, i am feeling the most.

my pen dragged softly across my paper as words spilled onto the paper. i let a tear fall onto the paper that made the ink swirl across the moisture. i wiped away my eyes and shut my journal. i hated thinking about him but i couldn't help but think. i shut my journal and climbed onto my bed, curling up into a ball.

my phone buzzed beside my and i picked it up, looking at the notification on the glowing screen.

dan :) just tweeted: going on younow!

my eyes widen and i sit up, grabbing my laptop and whipping it open, immediately typing in younow, clicking on dan's profile.

dan

i stared as the number of viewers went from four to six hundred in under four minutes. i smiled, looking at the comments spewing randomly in the chat.

"well, today i'm going to be answering some questions." i smiled into the camera, "so ask away!"

tylersbanjo: what pieces are you lookin @ playin next?

"well tyler's banjo, i am not too sure what i want to play next, tweet me suggestions!"

victuritrash: what animes u lookin at bro?1!/

"victuri trash, right now i am finishing yuri on ice ironically as i've been missing the few episodes that have been coming up, heard the ending was interesting, no spoilers please!!!"

amazingphil: dan i love you please notice me

i smiled at the comment, recognizing the name from the previous night's twitter activity.

"hi phil! nice to see you again, love you too! thanks for being such a big supporter!" i waved at the camera, looking through the other comments.

phil

my heart raced as my named slipped from his mouth and a quiet "love you too" seeped from the speakers into my ears. my eyes widened and happy tears began spilling from my eyes. my twitter notifications began going off like fireworks my friends spam tweeting about the recent events on the live stream. i felt as if i were going to faint by the rush of adrenaline coursing through my system. the thoughts of chris disappeard from my head and overflowed with dan.

garbage update lolz, i'm a lazy piece of shite

-jane