Is it love?

Chapter 13

Charlotte's POV

I knock on the door. I had time to think. At first my brain was going Insane. Thinking about if hes gonna kill me and I stopped when I first thought that. He has saved my life. Gave me a home. and has loved me. He wouldn't kill me. I told my brain to shut the fuck up. I looked a mess probably, with my bags from lack of sleep, messy hair and white ass skin. I was so tired but I needed this. It helped me think and come to grips of whats going on. I thought a lot of what Peter said and I know he wouldn't lie to me. I thought about what he said 'I feel closer to my parents' kept ringing in my head. I can't say I understand what he feels but I can say I understand what he means. I also thought about a lot about the killing part of the job he does. I like how he doesn't kill random people but I don't know if i'm ok with him going out and doing it all the time. I don't want him to come home again with the injuries he has had the past few days or worse. even though this job benefits him in many ways, it also hurts him in more ways. its a dangerous job and i don't know if i'm ok with it.

The door opens. Peter peaks his head out. He opens the door to let me in. 

"I made your fave dinner char." He smiles. I smile to and tell him thank you. I walked to the dining table and motioned for him to sit. He nods and does it.

"I had a lot to think about today, but I have it sorted out, and i'm more calm then I was." He nods and waits for me to continue.

I grab his hand and hold it. "Look i'm gonna say my feelings about it and if your upset with me i'm sorry. I don't know if i'm ok with you continuing this job Peter, and I have many reasons. The first and kinda most important is that I think that this job hurts you more then gives you. You came up to the door step looking like you fucking died. It hurt to see you like that Peter. and I hope I never have to see you like that ever again. It's just to risky and I don't know if I could handle seeing you like that again." a tear slips

"I was so worried about you, and then you come through the door looking half dead. Do you  know how painful that was to see you looking like that?" he looked at me with pain in his eyes.

"Seeing you like that....let me put it like this, how would you feel if I walked in through that door looking the way you did that night. I know you would make me stop doing whatever it was that made me that way. Right?" he nods

"I'm not making you stop Peter because what you said keeps repeating in my mind about how you felt closer to your parents. What right do I have to take that away from you? I wish I could say I understood the whole family thing but honestly I don't, and I knew that in a way you had a little perfect family. I wish I would have had that. So i'm not gonna take it away from you." I used my hands to dry up my tears and get a tissue. I just paused and breathed for a moment.

"I also wanted to talk about the killing part. look I get that you kill bad people ok. but I don't know if I can handle knowing that you kill people once a week. and to think that I can handle you coming home everyday with someone else's blood on your hands is a little insane."  I say shakily.

"I'm not saying you have to quit Peter but as of right now your not going on a other mission anytime soon and its because I said so. You need time to heal your wounds and school is important. I still have to go to court and having you in my mind killing people would just add to my anxiety. or you getting hurt in some way." he nods

"You know i would never hurt you right?."

"Peter I know but that doesn't stop me of thinking what you may have done to people, good or bad." I said with honesty. He looks defeated at that.

i walk to his seat and straddle him and grab his face.

"I love you ok. I know you wouldn't hurt me on purpose. I love every inch of you. It was painful seeing you that way Peter. I can't even describe in words how it felt because it hurt so bad. I just want you safe,  with me, and alive." I kissed him passionately. He grabbed my face and kissed me back. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he wrapped his arms around my waist. I slid my tongue in his mouth. Shocked at my boldness he opens his mouth and our tongues dance. They dance with the only way we know. He put his fingers through my hair and I did the same.. god I love him. We stopped to breath. I still kept my fingers in his hair and our noses brush together.