Scars and Souvenirs

Ten

-unedited-

Also, there is a warning before the last little section as it is a little graphic and could be triggering to some people. 

*

Taylor didn't feel like talking by the time she walked into the cosy room Grace was waiting in. It wasn't the usual large, stuffy personalised space she usually saw in her appointments, this room was smaller, clammy. Taylor wanted to pass out the minute she walked in. 

"Ah, Taylor," Grace said with a smile. She didn't have a nice smile, Taylor noticed, it looked fake, and the doctor's already thin lips looked to disappear into her yellowed teeth every time they stretched. "It's been a while since our last appointment. How are you doing?" 

Taylor laughed internally. She wanted to tell the doctor everything, from the way she felt after Matthew, the repulsion and pure disdain she's felt every day since she got out of hospital and saw the mark on her stomach had been amplified beyond the reach of her tortured mind. She wanted to tell Grace about the man with the greasy hair and his magic blue pills. She wanted to tell her about Hunter, about the way her heart ached and her stomach turned every time she was near him, the urge to open her mouth and let reality spill through. 

But when the few seconds had passed and Taylor opened her mouth to speak, no words left her lips. No, "I'm fine" or "I want to die more than ever", the tears she'd been holding back all day filled her eyes and started falling before either had time to register. Taylor's tiny body was no longer and tense, it was shaking with violent, painful sobs she hadn't felt since the day of funeral. 

At first Grace looked confused, Taylor was the kind of person to hold everything in until she couldn't cope anymore, at which point she'd do something stupid that resulted in hospitalisation. Grace knew this too well, but as she sat and watched the girl's body shake and shudder she had no idea what to do with herself. There'd been some difficult patients in her time but none quite like Taylor Carlyle, the girl with the scars and the past that doesn't exist according to any databases and files the doctor checked. 

"Let it out, Taylor, holding it in is the worst thing you can do," fake sympathy, Taylor could tell right away, she'd had her fare share of it after the massacre and nothing pissed her off more. 

"Holding it is the worst thing I can do? Really?" Taylor glared at the woman, the woman acting like she knew everything about her life. "Holding it in is the only thing I can do. Do you understand that, doctor?" She was on her feet, stretched to her full height, whiskey coloured eyes glowing bright with anger. "You know nothing about my life, you know nothing about me. I told you what I wanted to, nothing more nothing less." 

****

She was drunk. Again. That was Hunter's first thought when he walked into the bar towards the end of what he knew to be Taylor's shift. In that moment it genuinely startled him that she hadn't been fired yet, but then again, small island life wasn't what he was used to. Sighing to himself he took his usual seat at the bar, not bothering to order anything for himself. He sent Hannah a quick cancellation and apology text, knowing he'd be the one to jump in a taxi with the drunk girl and take her home. 

Taylor's boss came into the bar from the door in the back, eyes automatically locking onto the gap toothed girl, shouting something about "fucking the system", Hunter wasn't really paying attention. He was thinking of ways he could excuse the situation without getting them both banned for life. 

"Taylor," the older woman smiled, which confused Hunter more than anything had in a long while. "I think it's time you left, aren't you leaving in the morning?" 

Leaving? That was news to Hunter, so he waved for the girl that reminded him painfully of the girl he loved with every fibre of his being. She exchanged a last few words with the older lady and led the way out of the pub.