Story of My Life

Zane.

Zane was one of those guys that you could take one glance at and know, just know, he was a player. A heart breaker. He was the first guy that I fell hard and fast for. He was cocky, selfish, and at times, downright rude. He still is.

He was a new student freshman year and we didn't have any classes together so I didn't see him much. I would walk past him in the hallways and not really take a second look at him. Even though he wore glasses for the first month or two of school I thought he was pretty ok looking. It wasn't until later, when we really started talking and he didn't wear glasses anymore that I thought he was really cute. Almost every girl in the grade was after him. I could talk to almost any person of the female gender and know that they wanted him. He was actually very sweet and a perfect gentleman at times. And that's all I saw when I started liking him. Bad idea.

I remember my friend Ana and I were gossiping about him one day in choir. I think it was in mid to late October. I confessed to her that I liked him and she supported me fully. We stayed after school one day to talk to him as he worked on his project for woodshop. It was fun, until her ride came and she left me there with him, alone.

Now, you should know something. I am one of the most awkward people around guys sometimes. I blush a lot and get really nervous and sometimes start sweating, it's weird.

So when she left me there with Zane, all of these characteristics kicked in and I had no idea what to say to him anymore. It ended up going ok, he flirted with me, so I was happy. And that was the day he gave me his number. I was ecstatic at this point.

We ended up talking more and more, texting, face to face, whatever. Much to the disappointment of my best friend, Shayla, I started liking him even more. Rate 14 on the 1-10 scale of crushing. Shayla still to this day cannot stand Zane. At all. I'll get to that later.

It was December. I had a figure skating show in March that included a Guy/Girl number. I had no partner. So I could man up and ask Zane to skate with me or I could skate with some random guy who I had never met before. No thanks. I eventually asked him to skate with me and to my surprise, he agreed.

We went to an open skate every Sunday night from then on until it wasn't available anymore. And the Guy/Girl number was flawless. He was so cute. I'll be back on this topic later.

In January or so, Ana told me that Zane was driving her crazy. He wouldn't stop going after her. If you hadn't already guessed, he liked her. A lot. This hurt me. Wouldn't you hurt if the guy you wanted didn't want you back? I helped him through his heartbreak with Ana and I feel it brought us closer.

The beginning of March meant the beginning of skate show practice. Zane came over to my house after school and then my parents would drive us to practice and back. Those car rides were what I lived for the two weeks that they lasted. At this point, Zane finally liked me back, just as I was getting over him, he brought me back to him. The car rides were so fun. We flirted and he was so funny.

I remember the last couple days before the first performance I was feeling like crap. I was sleep deprived from running around and never getting rest. My body couldn't handle the endless rushing. I was getting sick and it was affecting my skating. It was not ok. I couldn't let everybody down. There was so much stress on my shoulders at that point.

It was a full run through practice that night, I felt slugglish and gross, but he was always by me, seeing if I was ok. I'm absolutely positive I looked like a zombie yet he told me I was beautiful. The drive home that night was the quietest yet. I remember that he took my hand and he held it the entire ride. I was on cloud nine. I rudely fell asleep though and when I woke up we were at his house and my hand was still clasped in his. I never wanted him to let go.