Through Hell &'d Back

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I've had a horrible summer. My life went downhill in one day. I never thought my life could get ruined in one day. My parents let me stay home because they knew how hard things were on me, but they had told me I would have to face the world again when school started. My best friend Karina was the only one that knew what happened. She was the only one I could trust. After the 2 and a half months of summer it was time to face the world. Today is the first day of my senior year. It was supposed to be the best one but I doubt it will with what happened. I got up and ready to go to school. My best friend and I were going together.

"Hey Jocelyn. How are you feeling today?"

"I think I'm good. You?"

"I'm good. Cheer up. It's our senor year! We have to make it the best yet."

"I doubt I can."

"Jocelyn. You have to stop doing this to yourself. You have to move on. I know it's hard but your family and I, we're all here to support you and to love you."

"I know, and I thank each and every one of you for that but it's not that easy."

"Look, let's just go. I hope going to school changes your mind."

"I'll see you when I get home mom." I walked to her and hugged her.

"Have a great day honey. I love you."

"Love you too mom." I said and walked out.

*At school*

We headed to where all our friends were at. We all greeted each other and they all started talking about their vacation. They were all so excited while I just wasn't feeling it.

"I'll talk to you guys later okay girls." I said and walked away.

"Wait." Karina said walking after me. "Are you alright."

"Yeah. I just don't want to ruin your talks. I'm just not feeling it. I'll see you later."

"Alright."

I walked towards the track of school. I knew no one would be there. I got there and sat on the bleachers. I used to be on the track team. I loved being on the track. I left my backpack on the bleacher and started running. I loved how running always made me forget everything. When I had finished a mile, I stopped, sat down, and started crying. Suddenly I felt someone touch me.

"No! No! Stop! Don't touch me! Leave me alone! Stop!" I screamed, got up, and ran away.

"Jocelyn! Jocelyn, hold up! It's me Liam!"

liam was a childhood friend. He had left for the x factor last year and I hadn't seen him in a long time. I stopped and he walked over to me.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm sorry. You scared me."

"No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just grabbed you like that."

"It's fine. How have you been?"

"I've been good. You?"

"Not so good."

"Why? What happened?"

"I don't really want to talk about it."

"Is it the same reason why you were crying."

At that moment I felt a knot in my throat and couldn't talk. I just nodded and started crying again. Liam came up to me and wrapped me in his arms. He rubbed my back and told me everything was going to be okay. I cried and cried and everything that happened started playing in my head.

"Stop! Stop! Let go of me! Don't touch me! Get away! Stop!" I screamed again and pushed Liam.

"Jocelyn. It's okay. It's just me. I don't know what's making you this way but it's over. Nothing's going to happen to you. You're fine." He said and pulled me into a hug again.

"Why can't this be over. Why does this always have to haunt me."

"You're going to be fine. I'm here for you Jocelyn. I might have left last year and everything but you know I have always been here for you and this time it's no different."

"Thank you Liam. It really means a lot right now."

The bell then rang so we started walking toward he buildings. He had the 200 building and I had the 300. He walked me to class and then he headed to his. I was grateful to have someone else that I could rely on. Then my ex boyfriend Harry walked in. He also went on the x factor with Liam. They got put into a group and they didn't win. We broke up because of it. We didn't want to cause each other pain, with being apart. The day he left, became the worst day of my life. Everything went down that day. He walked toward me and sat next to me.

"Hey Jocelyn."

"Hey." I really didn't want to talk to him, but I wasn't going to be rude.

"How are you?"

"Not so good. You?"

"Why not? And I've been good I guess."

I didn't answer. Him leaving me was the reason I was in this position. He left me alone that day and I hated him because of it. If he would have stayed with me nothing would have happened to me.

"Are you mad at me?"

"yeah, Harry, I am. Just don't talk to me alright?"

The teacher came in just as he was going to answer. Thank god. Class ended and I rushed out to my next class. To my surprise Harry had the same class as me, again. Just my luck. He sat next to me again. Thank go the teacher was already there and started class early. I got to my third period and guess what. Harry was there too.

"Jocelyn. Why are you avoiding me? did I do something?"

"I don't want to talk about this right now Harry. I don't want to make a big deal right here, in class."

"Well then let's talk after, during lunch."

"Fine."

Class ended and we headed out for lunch, but we headed to the track, where no one would hear us.

"What's wrong? What did I do to you tat made you not talk to me?"

"You left me Harry! You left me alone the night you left! That night was the worst night of my life. It's been haunting me til this day!"

"I'm sorry Jocelyn. You knew I had to leave that day. It hurt me as much as it did you."

"No, it didn't! something terrible happened that day. I'm never going to get over what you did!"

"What happened?"

"It doesn't matter! It happened, and now I have to live with it."

"Tell me what happened Jocelyn." He said approaching me.

"No Harry. It's hard for me to tell someone."

"You can tell me whatever it is. I love you Jocelyn and I promise that I'll do whatever to help you."

"You can't help me Harry. No one can help me. I'm fucking screwed, and don't give me that bull crap! If you loved me you would have never left and none of what happened would have happened."

"Look, I'm sorry."

"Sorry is not going to fix it now Harry!"

"I know it's not. Let me help you. Tell me what happened."

"Why should I?"

"Because if it's my fault I'm going to do everything to help you. Anything."

"it's not going to make a difference whether I tell you or not."

"To me it is."

I looked down and when I looked back into his eyes, I knew what I had to do.

"...."