Through Hell &'d Back

Chapter 4

*Harry's P.O.V*

"Doctor, you have to save her. You have to." Jocelyn's mom kept crying.

"We're doing our beat ma'm. I guarantee you that. She'll be in intense care for a couple of hours and if we see her doing better then we'll transfer her to a room so you can see her."

"Thank you doctor. Is there anything else that we need to know?" I asked hugging Jocelyn's mom.

"We're currently running some tests because we saw some odd things but once they're ready you guys will be the first to know."

"Thanks again doc."

We both slowly walked toward the couch and when we sat down I still had her in my arms. This lady was one of the strongest woman I have ever known. Jocelyn's father died from cancer when she was 5 years old and she had to take the roles of a father figure for Jocelyn as well. Even though I didn't have my dad either, my mom was now happy with another man. She has gone through that pain of loosing someone she loves very much and for her to have to see her daughter struggle is awful.

"Harry?" She said pulling herself away and looking me in the eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Do you really still love my daughter?"

"Of course I do. I never stopped, and I never will."

"Why did you leave her then? If you hadn't done that none of this would have ever happened."

"I know and I regret it every day of my life now. We fought that night and I was really mad at her because we had agreed to take our separate ways before so neither of us would get hurt. But that day, she started regretting that decision and it just made things complicated and we both started arguing and one thing led to another. I honestly didn't want to leave her. It was so hard, but I knew that if I made this, that I would come back to her and give her everything that she deserved. I just didn't know that something like this would cause her so much harm."

"All she ever needed and wanted was you. You have no idea how much it had hurt her to not have you here all those times. She wouldn't say it and I know that she wanted to hide the pain by blaming it on what you know who did but it wasn't only that haunting her. All her nightmares started with her yelling for you."

"Did they? Did I really hurt her that much?"

"I think you did, but I think she's past that now. Harry you have helped her so much this past month."

"Wouldn't it be better for me to just leave again though? Maybe I bring all those memories back all over again."

"Oh no, no, no, no Harry. She doesn't blame you for what happened and I think she really need you in her life right now. You and I are probably the only thing that makes sense to her."

We spent like 1 hour just talking about her. Talking about how we would love for her to return to her normal self. For her to be able to move past all of this.

"Sorry to interrupt you guys but I have the results back."

"And? Is something wrong with Jocelyn doctor?" Her mother immediately asked.

"No. She's still recovering still but we think she's doing much better now. Not enough to transfer her to a room but she will if she keeps recovering the ways she has. These test are so we could see if Jocelyn is pregnant or not."

"Oh my god. Is she?" She asked

"Yes. She is. She is 3 months pregnant. You have to make sure she doesn't try anything like this again because that will seriously cause harm not only to herself but the baby as well."

"Thanks doctor." We both said and he left.

"Jocelyn pregnant. How do you think she'll take it?" I asked her mother.

"I don't know. I would like to think that she'll welcome it with open arms but I feel like it would be another reason for her to be miserable."

"I don't think she'll do anything to harm herself knowing this though. She's always wanted children and J know that this is not her perfect way but it's still a gift from God."

"Would you tell her when we see her? I think she'll react in a better way if you do. I think you can help her understand that."

"Yeah, I can do that."

After another 2 hours of waiting to see how Jocelyn is doing we were finally able to see her. I have no idea how this will go but I hope she doesn't make another mistake. I'm hoping for the best. As we walked into her room, we saw her with a beautiful smile on her face. What happened to her? She looked beautiful but what happened?

*Jocelyn's P.O.V*

As I heard their footsteps just outside my door I decided to smile because I didn't want them to see me in a bad state anymore. I knew that I was hurting them as well.

"Hey honey. You look much better now. How do you feel?" My mother asked.

"I feel good I guess."

"I'm glad hunny. You had us scared out there."

"I'm sorry." I really was. Even though I was the one who was hurting the most, I didn't want to bring everyone around me down with me. They deserved to be happy.

"Harry has something very important to tell you and I want you to be calm okay?"

"Okay."

"So. The doctor did some tests." He stopped

"Go on."

"Jocelyn, you're going to be a mom."

"What?!" No no no no no. This can't be happening. What did I do to deserve this? Why did it have to be me? Why not anyone else? Why did he have to rape me and get me pregnant? It would just be a constant reminder of him. Why couldn't I just move on with my life and forget him! No, I had to get pregnant with his baby.

"Jocelyn, we know that this is not the way you wanted to be a mother, but you have to look out for both you and that baby now." He said.

"Why?! Why do I have to take care of the baby?! Haven't I been through enough already?! I hate him! I hate him so much for doing this to me!"

"Hey, calm down. I know that you just want to forget what happened to you and you have every right to feel that way but this is a baby we are talking about. This is a gift from God Jocelyn. I know that you don't see it that way right now but you can. It is not your fault that this baby was made and it has a right to live. And you know what? This kid will be the luckiest kid in the world because he will have you as a mother."

"I can't do this. I just can't. This is too much. I don't want this baby. I don't want the constant reminder of the worst night of my life Harry."

"I know you don't but can you really deny that baby from having a life? If you don't want to take care of that baby then that's fine. People are always willing to adopt but this can always help you grow. You can learn to have a life with a beautiful baby in your life that was just given to you and that is the only good thing of what happened to you."

"Good thing? How is this baby a good thing Harry? How?"

"This is and will be the only good thing that Joseph ever gave you. He gave you the opportunity of being a mother. Of having an innocent little baby that had nothing to do with the wrong doings of that man. Can't you see that? Can you picture a baby in your arms calling you mom? A human being that you can love and that will love you back unconditionally? That baby can help you heal and forgive. Don't you want that? You will never be alone in this. Your mother and I will be there every step of the way."

Do I really want to have this constant reminder of Joseph? Is this baby really worth having? Should I just give him up for adoption? Should I keep him? What should I do?