Laying there on the hospital bed, you let you're mind to rest. Your heart was calm, your breathing was back to a normal pace and you laid asleep. Joshua was right beside you, holding your cold hands in his hands, keeping it warm. 'You know that I don't ever want to lose you right?... You're the best thing that has ever happened to me... Please stay...'
After a while, you woke up, still feeling a bit lightheaded after having your anxiety attack. Letting out a huge sigh, you slowly opened your eyes, regaining your vision. In your hands you felt a warm hand, tightly holding onto yours, never wanting to let go. This hand made you feel protected.
As your vision came back, you saw a handsome face. The face you have always seen every single day. Worry was written all over his face but you tried to calm him down by giving him a heart warming smile. Joshua looked as if he was on the verge of tears. He stroked your arm and that was when you realised. He could see your self-harm scars.
Quickly letting go of his hand, you tried to cover it up. Panicking you thought 'Oh no. Did he see it? I can't. No he's going to think I'm a freak. I don't want him to worry about me. It'll only break him...' Joshua grabbed you and hugged you tightly, squeezing all your broken pieces together.
As he pulled you into a hug, he cried 'Why didn't you tell me?... Don't you trust me?... I'm here for you. Just please, don't do it again. I don't want to lose you. Do you know how much you mean to me?...' He went on about how special you are to him. To see Joshua like this was.... heartbreaking. You were speechless, all you could say was 'I'm sorry...'
Letting go, Joshua held your hands and looked you straight into the eyes ,'The doctor told me you have pancreatic cancer, depression and anxiety. Is it true? I'm here for you. Just please, trust me. You mean the world to me...'
Bursting into tears, you tried to wipe them and Joshua kissed you on the forehead. 'Don't cry. I don't want to see you crying, broken or hurting again. Someone like you shouldn't be in pain. You don't deserve it. Smile for me... Once?...' You forced a smile and he reassures you everything will be fine. Holding you in his arms he sang your favourite song. Midway the doctor came in and told you that you were going to have to stay in hospital for a few weeks.
You sighed in frustration but there Joshua was to reassure you that everything was going to be fine. He held your hand and stroked his thumb up and down the side of your palms.
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Sorry, sorry, sorry so much that I haven't updated much recently. I've been struggling with a lot of stuff and urgh.
I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. There might be a part 3 or 4.
Mianhae. Please keep supporting.
