I've Told You a Million Times

Chapter 1

Hey Guys..this is a fanfiction about Remus and Tonks....Hope you guys enjoy. Make sure you guys comment and vote I love your feedback!

This story is dedicated to Isabella Marie Tucker, who sadly died of stage four lung cancer at the age of 13. SO here's to fighting cancer

It was a cold, and rainy night at Number 12 Grimmauld Place. Rain tapped against the windows, thunder cracked, and lighting flashed. In a window,  a man could be seen sitting in a large armchair, appearing to be asleep. He was however, very much awake and wrapped in a thick blanket. The man looked quite pale almost as if he was ill, he had long legs that hung over the edge of the armchair. He was thin, but lean and his face was graced with scars; some were faded, while some looked quite fresh. Despite not being nearly forty years of age, gray hairs could be seen amongst his light brown hair atop his head.

Remus Lupin was feeling quite down on this particular evening. Tonight was the one night, once a month that he had to endure severe pain, and lose every ounce of his humanity, while he frantically clawed at his own skin.

CRASH!

Remus stood with a start, preparing himself for the unknown. He crossed the room and flipped on the light to find a young woman, with violet hair hastily picking up a broom and a pan. Remus was amused by her appearance, she looked like a Muggle punk-rock teenager, however Remus also saw that she was quite beautiful. She had a heart-shaped shaped face, dark, twinkling eyes, light skin and her violet hair was cropped short. "Oh, oh, I'm sorry," she exclaimed, looking up at him.

"It's quite alright," Remus said gently, as he bent down to help her.

"I'm just so clumsy," she explained in an almost pained voice.  "You wouldn't believe how clumsy I am. I trip over everything."

Remus couldn't help but smile. "I'm sure it happens to others, as well," he said gently. After propping the broom up on the wall, Remus walked into the kitchen to put the pan in its proper place. When he turned back around he almost ran into the violet-haired witch. "Oh, my apologies," he said, offering her an apologetic smile. 

"Oh, that's okay!" she replied brightly. "I'm Nymphadora Tonks, by the way," she explained, "but please, just call me Tonks," she added.

OH so this was the cousin Sirius was telling him about. "I'm Remus Lupin," he replied, "but you can call me Remus," he added with an amused grin. He was surprised to find that he was completely at ease with her. Remus  assumed it was the fact that she didn't know that he was a monster. A monster who was unclean, unworthy, dangerous, and a liability. "If you'll excuse me, Tonks, I have somewhere to be," he said somewhat hastily. "SIRIUS!" he called. "TONKS IS HERE!" Remus turned back to face Tonks, "It was a pleasure to meet you," he said rather quickly as he swept out the door.

Remus Lupin inhaled a deep breath as he stepped outside, and began to walk down the steps toward the street. He was just about to disapparate when he heard a door open behind him, he turned his head to see Sirius rushing out the door. "Hey, Remus, wait up, mate," Sirius called after him. "I'll come with you, and it'll be just like old times."

Remus, became angry at his friend. "No," he snapped. "It won't be like old times, I'm getting more and more dangerous every time I transform. The stakes are higher now; we are both in the Order and you're a wanted man. You're supposed to be inside, Sirius, someone could see you." Remus reprimanded.

Sirius looked as if he had been slapped. Upon seeing Sirius' hurt face Remus instantly felt guilty for snapping at him. "Sorry..I....I didn't mean.." he started.

"It's fine, Remus. I understand. I get it," Sirius said. "You're quite sure I can't come along?"

"I am quite sure," Remus replied as gently as he could manage. (which wasn't very gentle). He spun away from his best friend and disapparated with a pop.

Remus apparated in the midst of an empty field save for one lone tree. This was the spot he had designated where he would transform while staying at Grimmauld Place. The field was vast and beautiful but, more importantly; there was no one nearby for Remus to inadvertently kill, injure or worse, bite. Before the moon was about to rise, Remus stowed his wand safely in the tree. He then jumped into a hole, that he had dug previously. The hole was deep enough to contain him while in his wolf form, it was at least ten feet deep and 5 feet wide. Remus had even gone so far as to enchant the dirt walls so he could not dig himself out.

Soon the moon began rise, and Remus took a deep breath, bracing himself for what was to come. A moment later his eyes locked on the moon. His pupils dilated. Almost instantly the pain shot through body; excruciating pain that seized every inch of his body, it  was beyond comprehension. His mind seized up as his hands began to grow into claws. Remus tried and failed to fight the pain, and preserve his humanity.

Remus' back cracked and stretched, elongating itself, efficiently ripping his clothes, and his face lengthened into a snout. The pain worsened and Remus cried out in pain, he couldn't stop the tears from falling and streaming down his face. The agony swallowed him,  his vision blurred and Remus released a strangled cry as the transformation was nearly complete. With the last moment left of his humanity, he thought  of a laughing James and Sirius by his side.  The next moment he roared he drew back into himself, hugging himself, and letting out choked sobs.

The transformation was complete.

The wolf whimpered once, twice, then three time before the wolf straightened, pointed his long snout towards the moon and let out a howl that echoed throughout night. Need to hunt, need to hunt need to hunt, the wolf thought frantically. There was nothing to hunt, and with no alternative, the wolf began to  claw and scrape at himself, opening deep gashes that began to cover his body. Desperately, the wolf clawed at himself. His claws ripping into his skin, matting his fur with his own blood, but still the wolf continued to claw at himself.

The night went on like this until finally, exhausted and soaked in his own blood, did the wolf collapse on the dirt floor.