I've Told You a Million Times

Chapter 4

Tonks was sitting in the living room of Number 12 Grimmauld Place when Sirius came in. She looked at him, "Sup, cousin," she greeted, but her brightness soon faded when she saw the expression on his face. "What is it?" she asked, concerned.

"Remus," he answered simply, he didn't need to elaborate for Tonks to know what he meant.

She walked over to him, "I know, I'm sorry." Tonks didn't know what else to say, she was at a loss for words, she didn't really know what had happened to Remus earlier, she didn't know what could've beaten him up so badly that he could barely walk. "What happened?" she squeaked out, not really expecting an answer. 

Sirius just sighed, and scratched his head, his eyes suddenly interested in the carpet.

Tonks saw his eyes start to well with tears and she wrapped her arms around him, she couldn't imagine how hard it must be for him, to watch his best friend suffer. 

Sirius had always been her favorite cousin, he had always been there for her, and he had experienced the same exile her mother had-- exiled from the Black family, and scratched from the Black Family Tree--and felt that they understood each other better because of it. 

She squeezed him affectionately and patted his back. Although she was younger than him, she knew that a hug could make you feel better even in the worst of times. Sirius stepped back from her, wiped away the start of tears and offered her a confident smile, which she returned with her own.

"Thanks," he said with a smile as he turned away and disappeared into the kitchen. Tonks smiled to herself, oh how she loved her cousin, he always made her smile, no matter the circumstance. Always the joker, she mused. 

She seated herself in the big armchair by the window and stared out at the sky. It was a deep blue today, without a cloud in the sky, it made a smile cross appear on Tonks' face.

Tonks must have fallen asleep because when she opened her eyes, the stars were out, it was dark outside, and the moon was shining on her face. 

When she moved, her muscles were stiff from being confined to the armchair. She stood, and stretched, making her back crack, and her legs and arms stretch. 

"You look tired," a familiar voice said from the corner of the room.

Tonks turned towards the voice, alarmed.

A figure rose from the chair in the corner and stepped towards her, and when the figure the moonlight caught his face she recognized him and offered him a smile.

"I'm sorry," Remus Lupin said gently, "I did not mean to startle you."

Tonks gave him a smile. "It's alright," she replied in a low voice.

He smiled back at her. His smile was tender, and his eyes were full of warmth and kindness. "I wanted to..." he began,  "I'm sorry you had to see me the way I was," he finished.

Tonks stepped towards him. She could not deny the fact that she felt comfortable and safe when she was in his presence, nor could she deny the way her eyes seemed to gravitate towards him. You do NOT like him, she told herself, You don't want a repeat of St. Patrick's Day, she scolded herself.  She knew that she shouldn't ask him what had happened, it was his business after all.....but she couldn't stop herself, "What happened?" she asked timidly, looking up into his green eyes. 

Remus just looked at her, his expression changed from gentle to an almost painful cringe, and his eyes were no longer warm, they were now empty, emotionless.

Tonks stood there stupidly, she knew she should say something but, her lips seemed to be sealed shut. When she tried to talk, her body wouldn't let her. It was like the signal wasn't going to her brain to her mouth. She looked at the floor awkwardly, giving him time to answer. Say something! a voice in her head screamed. 

Remus still hadn't answered, she lifted her head to look back at him. He was still looking at her, it was like he was looking past her.