Missed Chances

1. The Almost Kiss

It's dark. Urgh. How I wish I had someone to walk with going home.

I shake my head, naw, I'd rather be alone with my thoughts tonight.

But my thoughts retraced my steps back to that night. That one night full of What-ifs and could-have-have-beens

—

We were both at Nick's house for Sarah's birthday. I thought you wouldn't be there, I didn't see your beaten-up maroon pick-up anywhere. I didn't want to see you then. I knew you were dating someone already.

I was greeted by Sarah at the door with her hubby Nick in tow. Warm wishes, sloppy air kisses and giggles. I was early like always. Their twins were in the living room, greeted me with high fives and warm hugs.

And there you were [surprisingly early], in the red couch, with your arm around her. I never got to know her name. You never introduced us anyway. Why bother, right?

Rick and Kyla, the newly weds, arrived. Wow, I teased Sarah, you could have warned me about this being a couple's party! I'm the only single person in sight!

You got the twins to keep you company in front of the telly, she winked.

Laughter filled the air. There was no drinking yet but the mood was already relaxed and light.

But I was tensed. I did not look at you, not for the first 10 minutes. Not until I had to stay with the twins in front of the telly. You greeted me, with a Yo! and that charming smile of yours. I smiled back and said Hey! Nodded your way, past her, and just sat in between the twins. Ben10 was on.

I could feel her gaze at me. The whole time I was in the telly. It was weird. I didn't know her. But I had a feeling she knows something about me.

The twins and I would go out for some fresh air and play a bit of catch. It was getting chilly as early as 6, so we decided to go back inside.

The vodka Rick bought was being opened by Nick. The party was about to start. I wasn't worried about the twins. It's not like it was a college party of some sorts. It was an adult, grown-up party. And I was the youngest, aside from the twins, present. You were a college senior, she was a junior like me, but your age.

She whispered in your ear. You listened intently. You stood up, She needs to leave.

Take a shot first, Sarah coxed.

Everyone cheered. The twins and I returned to watching the telly.

While the shot was being prepared, I went to the table to get a glass of water and sat by the table. You sat beside me. No words spoken but it meant a lot to me. For some reason, it did.

She looked at us, quietly sitting beside each other, but I was looking at the twins, and I bet, you were smiling at her. I wouldn't know. If I spoke to you then, would she have been mad? Would you have introduced her to me?

I wonder.

And you stood up.

You'll still be here, right? You turned to me.

I had to look up to you from where I was sitting. You were always the tallest one. The model type.

I'm sorry, what?

You'll still be here for the shots, right? You smiled at me.

Uh, yeah. I'm staying. I nodded, aware that she was looking at me. I could feel her gaze on me and it made me feel weird. I ain't going anywhere.