Can't Live Without Her

chapter two

We watch tv for what seems like ten minutes and she announces that we're going out to eat. Perfect. I hope we go alone, because then I can tell her. It just isn't right keeping a secret from her. I know she wouldn't keep a secret, especially one like this, from me.

"Alright sounds good, I need to borrow clothes though"

"Yeah, I know, you borrow my clothes everyday. You know where they are."

And with that I walk upstairs to her room. Her mom and sister have left but her dad has just walked in the door. Now I know why we're going out; see Martina doesn't have the bast relationship with her dad at the moment and she'd rather just stay away from him so she doesn't get hurt, psychically or emotionally. I understand, and I don't mind going out either. Especially now.

I get to her room and throw on a tshirt and some shorts. She's skinner than me so I try to grab clothes that I know would be big on her, even though she insists we're the same size so I don't feel bad. That's just the kind of person she is.

I walk back downstairs and grab my phone, which is charging on the counter. Three missed calls from mom, two from dad and a text from Martina saying,

"Dad came home early. Meet me @ the trampoline"

I start walking out to her yard and greet Mr. Maples on my way out. Martina may despise him but I basically live at his house. A hello is the least I could do. I walk out to the trampoline and see her waiting there. I run up to her and hug her, knowing that her dad being home is upsetting her.

"You gonna be alright?"

"Yeah I guess, it's not like I have an option."

I frown and tell her I love her,

"I love you too, Nellie. More than you'll ever know."

We decide to lay in the trampoline for a while and I tell her about all the calls I got.

"Do you think it could be something important?" She asks

"No. I guarantee I'm just in trouble. They don't like to keep me informed on important things. And I doubt they suddenly started caring about where I was."

"Are you gonna answer?" She asks

"Nah, this is our day. They make my life so shitty and I'm not about to let them ruin this, this perfect thing we have." I say, matter-of-factly

"You'll be okay Nellie, don't worry about them. Me and my family care about you so much, especially me, Nellie. I would die without you" She says, pulling me into a hug.

"Thanks, Martina, I love you" I respond

After that we sit in silence, just enjoying each others presence and finally I speak up.

"So where we gonna go out to eat?"

"I was thinking Marie's. Whattaya think?"

"Fuck yes they have the best fries in the friggin Galaxy"

"How did I know you were gonna say that?" She asks

"Cuz you always know"

With that, we start our walk all the way down to Marie's. It's a long walk, but we just talk the whole time; talk about teachers, stress, grades, family, classes, and how upset we were that we weren't in the same class for the first time since kindergarten. We gossip about literally everyone, especially the "populars." I think she's the only one who hates them more than I do. This makes me really happy, because she's so pretty and talented, she could easily be one of them and just drop me. But I know she wouldn't do that. I love her. And she actually loves me back. I'm so lucky to have her.

We finally make it to Marie's and my nerves are through the roof. It's all happening so fast. My heart is racing. I hope she doesn't leave me. I'm giving her a good enough reason to. If she's wanted to leave at all, this is her way out. I have to do this though.

We walk into the restaurant and she finds a seat and I grab us some menus. My hands are shaking so bad I can barely hold them. I could cry. I just need to get if off my chest. I walk to our seats and decide that I'm telling her as soon as we sit down.i hand her her menu, and she says almost immediately,

"Just surprise me. You know what I like, I'm going to the bathroom"

And with that I could just cry. She walks into the bathroom  and I just break down. I'm so stupid I can't even stay sane for ten minutes. I can't do this. She's gonna leave me and I know it. She doesn't deserve to live with me. She could be doing so much better. This isn't fair to her.

She walks out of the bathroom to see me crying and her face goes white and she runs up to me and asks me what's wrong.

"I really have to tell you something Martina, but you have to promise you won't leave me for it"

"I would never leave you. You know that Nellie" she says, almost offended

I take a deep breath and say so quiet, it's barely even a whisper,

"I cut"

She starts crying, almost bawling, and brings me into a hug and whispers into my ear,

"I do to, Nellie."