Why me [danisnotonfire] HIATUS

One

D A N

Two months. Two months since I made her smile. Two months since I held her hands. Two months since she was mine. It's was complete hell. And I still regret my decisions to this day. I want her back. I need her back. She was the only thing keeping me steady. But I threw that away like it was a plain old piece of garbage.

•••

We still see each other every week. We decided to be friends about a week after the break up. Friday's are our days. We do fun stuff, either going out to eat, going to fun places, or just walking around. As she would say, in person interactions speak to the mind more clearly therefore conversation will continue more easily. And that was true. Well, at least for us.

"2:30, at this new coffee shop that just opened up. It's called Ozone Coffee Roasters. I'll send a picture."

Her voice was soft like it always used to be. I waited patiently for the picture to send. A few seconds later, my phone vibrated and a picture appeared at the top of my screen.

(Picture)

I took a quick look at it. Looks kinda cool.

"Okay, see you then. Bye y/n."

"Bye Daniel."

And with that the line went dead. Her soft voice disappeared. I missed it already.

Sighing, I went and got myself a glass of water. Being the klutz I am, I accidentally knocked over the class. It was all in slow motion. The glass shattering while the clear liquid spilled out and splashed onto the solid surface. The glass was us. Once solid, then shattered. The water was our emotions. Splashing around and spilling everywhere. Then, there lay our shattered hearts and a pool of emotions. It was all so tragic. But I just stood there, and let it happen without a care. And that's how I fucked it all up. I just stood there and did nothing.

I really lost her didn't I? I lost her heart. I broke her heart. And I hate myself for that. I just need her back again. I don't know how much longer I can let this mess of glass and water stay existent.

"Dan? Are you okay?" Phil calls out. I guess I didn't hear him the first time because I was stood there staring at the mess I had made. The mess I caused. The mess I can't forget. 'God damnit Daniel get over it! You fucking lost her and she never wants you back so get the fuck over yourself.' The voice inside my head makes me feel heavy and sluggish. Like I'm the only person left in the world and I did nothing to help save people. Like I'm the cause of everyone's and everything's problems. Like I just need to get away for a bit. I just need to feel something.

"Dan?!" Phil calls out once again. I finally snap out of my thoughts. "Yeah?" I call back, not really in the mood to do anything. "Are you okay?" He asks as he turns the corner looking worried, laptop in hand. "Y- yeah. Just accidentally broke a glass." I mutter. "Okay... just making sure you're okay." He nods and leaves back to his room. Sighing once again, I carefully pick up the pieces of glass, making sure not to cut myself. 'Do it.' I throw them into the garbage. Making my way back over, I realize there's one more piece of glass that I missed. 'Do it.' I breathe heavily and run a hand through my hair. "No." I mumble as I throw away that piece. After cleaning up the mess, I decide to just grab a bottle of water, so nothing will break and I won't be tempted.

Really short chapter, I know, I'm sorry. But all the other chapters will be at least 1,000 words. This chapter is just like 630 words or something.