Why me [danisnotonfire] HIATUS

Two

Beep beep beep

I hit my alarm to shut the annoying noise off. Rolling over, I look at the time. 7:30am. So early.

20 minutes later, I decide to get my lazy ass up and go make some food. I decided to make pancakes. As I was mixing the batter, I noticed that when I mix it, it's becomes all blended, like our emotions.

After breakfast, I decided to play some Mario Kart, because why not? As I was pressing the buttons rapidly, it hit me. I pressed so many of her buttons so many times she finally got irritated and it hurt me, like how my fingers hurt after rapidly pressing them on the controller.

First the glass of water, then the pancake batter, now the damn controller? I must be going insane. Why does this girl have such an effect on me? Why am I such a fuck up is the actual question.

I go back into my bedroom and pick out my daily clothes. My black jeans, eclipse shirt, and black shoes.

"Pause." I say. Everything stops. The busy streets with all the cars going up and down them. The pedestrians walking along the cold frosted foot path. Everything was still. "Play." I mumble. Everything continues as if nothing had happened. I smile at the very useful trick that she taught me when we were together.  I take my phone out of my back pocket. The metal is cold against the sensitive skin of my hands. I look up the address for the coffee shop that I'm supposed to be meeting her at, but stop once again as I seemed to mumble an unexpected "Pause."

•••

I meet her at the coffee shop on the corner. She's sat there with two coffees in her hands. I let out a deep breath and smiled as I made my way over to her. Her beautiful (h/l) (h/c) hair gently framing her face. Her (e/c), satisfying eyes scanning the screen of her phone. Her thumb scrolling every couple of seconds.

Her eyes flicker up at me as I greet her with a 'hello' and she does the same. Her soft, elegant voice that can put you to sleep if heard singing a lullaby. I sat down and she slid a cup towards me with her index finger. "Thank you." "No problem."

We sat in a comfortable silence as I scrolled through twitter, and she scrolled through tumblr. "Y/n?" I softly ask. Her head perks up with a questioned expression. "Yeah?" She asks. I grab her phone out of her hand, a little surprised that she lets me, and place it on the table. I grab both of her hands. They're so delicate and fragile. I interlock our fingers together and take a deep breath.

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes,"

•••

"Play." I sigh as the flashback ends. We were so happy, in the beginning. We stayed strong for a solid 7 months. 7 months. 7 months of happiness. 7 months of love. 7 months of care. 7 months of us. I needed to get over her. But that's not a possibility at the moment.

I finally reach the coffee shop. I look around and see her. The love of my life. But I'm not the love of her life. I wish I was, but I'm not. I notice that she's wiping something off the foggy glass. All I saw was '♡DA' before it was gone. Was that my name? Did she still love me? Do I still matter to her? No, no it must've been '♡DAD'. Yeah, it had to have been that.

I enter the warm, cozy coffee shop and walk over to her. She looks like a small child that was relived that she found her mother after being lost. She looked so calm, yet happy. She wasn't smiling, but I knew her well enough. Her eyes told her emotions. "Hi." I say as I sit down, trying not to startle her. She looks over at me and her lips curve up and into a smile. Oh how I love that smile. "Dan," she takes a deep breath. "I need to tell you something..."

•••

"Really?" I asked shocked, yet happy. "Really." She smiled big. I took this chance to lean in across the table and connect our lips. They were soft and delicate, like herself. It only lasted a couple of seconds, as we were in a public area. We both pulled away and couldn't control our smiles. She blushed, and giggled. She wouldn't make eye contact with me, instead she hid her face in her hands that were wrapped in the ends of her sweater sleeves. It was cute.

"Dan, I have something to tell you."

"What's up?"

"I love..."

My heartbeat quickened.

"Netflix." She finished.

I laughed at her trick, her doing the same, feeling proud.

•••

"What's on your mind?" I ask as she pauses to tell me what she needs to.

"Well, my sister's 21st birthday is next week, and she wants to see you... I was hoping you could come?" I was shocked that her sister wanted to see me. After what I did to y/n I thought her family thought of me as a disgrace. I really hurt her. No, I didn't harm her. I would never EVER hurt her on purpose.

"Of... of course." I smiled weakly.

•••

I step inside my flat quietly, so I didn't wake Phil incase he's sleeping. I make my way to my bedroom, the decorative lights on my bed still glowing in the large, dark room. The room that represents me. I walk over to my bed and take my shoes off. Wow, today was actually okay. I changed into my sweatpants, took my shirt off and threw it somewhere in my room, and fell into the cold covers. By the end of the day, nothing mattered at all because I didn't have her. Nothing I did today got her back, therefore today was a useless day. A day where everything is still a mess and I didn't fix it. I'm trying to though. I'm trying, for her. Pulling the duvet up to my neck, my phone buzzed on my nightstand. Puzzled, I leaned over and grabbed the small object.

Message from 'Boo♡'

I still haven't changed her contact name.

Hey, just wanted to say goodnight. I know that I just threw that question at you like someone threw a ball at you as you turned around and caught it just in time before it slammed into your face. So once again, goodnight Daniel♡

She never fails to make me smile. Even though I wasn't actually happy. She made me smile.

Hey hoes. That was chapter two. Hope you enjoyed:)