Hunter & Julie

Scene 22

Oblivion is sweet, it is kind and painless. Oblivion is painless.

This is not how I thought death would feel like. It is worst. Way worst. Let this imposter of my friend be banished away because I know this can't be the legit death.

But it is.

Hunter has left me and without him I know not sanity. I don't know what It means to smile. To be okay.

He just doesn't understand. He won't let me explain. I've called him repeatedly but no answer. Maybe he's gone back to America, back to Rose.

I didn't tell him because a few months ago I was okay with death. I didn't want to kill myself but I decided to leave my life to faith. And fate gave me a hardy 'fuck you' and gave me heart failure.

But I had nothing. Tyler only came around once in a while because William was as cruel to him and he was to me. So that pushed Tyler away. My mother couldn't care less. And Maria, my old housekeeper quit after William came onto her one too many times.

I only had school and I was a no body. I was nothing until I had Hunter. Hunter, this sweet boy who for some reason loved me. Me! And when I realized it was too late. Too many secrets and lies.

I started taking my pills for him but to have a heart transplant? What if he left? I'm mean he just did. So if I had heart what good would it be if I'm already dead without him?

Me taking a heart that would benefit another soul is selfish. And I almost wanted to do it. For Hunter and Hunter only. But he's gone and life has no meaning like before.

"Julie, you get to go home today" Marc said helping me stand up.

I haven't spoken in days since Hunter left.

"I don't want to go home"

Marc blink rapidly surprise that I just spoke.

"Julie, I can't do this all by myself" Marc said biting his lips.

"Its fine Marc, just take me to a hotel for now, I don't want to go home" I whispered trying my hardest not to shed a tear. For in reality, now that Hunter and are no more, I have no home. The place that I live at with William isn't home. Its hell. And why would I purposefully want to go to hell.

"Julie, I don't feel comfortable with you living in a hotel. Hunter would kill me "

"Well Hunter isn't here as of right now, is he?"

"Shit, I'm sorry I didn't mean-"

"I know, just take me to a hotel, don't worry about money, you Blacks aren't the only people with cash." I smiled. And he forced his. I knew he was worried but honestly I have to do what I have to do for myself.

If I am to die I don't want it to be under the supervision of William, I want to die on my own terms. I want to do it knowing that my death will be close to Hunter. Here in England.

I put on the black skinny jeans and oversized black tee that  I am sure belonged to Hunter at one point. The smell of him clung to the fabric. I sighed at the smell.

Don't cry, you've cried enough

I put the heart monitor on and made my way to a waiting Marc, Ben, and Tyler outside. Tyler and Marc have stop fighting in front of me. I know how odd it must be for them.

At first I wondered why Ty would hide his sexuality but then again I kept my heart problem from him. I guess we are even. Sick.

The car ride to the hotel consisted of Marc and Tyler slyly giving each other glares and scoffs.