No Love

Caught Up

"I just can't keep shit down Nikki, I don't know what I ate, but since Friday I been throwing up and feeling sick. I'm supposed to be packing to leave tomorrow but I don't have any energy." I replied into the receiver.

"Aww poor baby, I'm definitely not coming over to say goodbye. But do you plan on seeing Jarell before you leave?" Nikki asked

"Actually I haven't talked to Jarell since the night I spent with him after the Summer Jam" I replied.

"I kinda figured that Angel which is why I wanted to tell you what I overheard Barbie telling Tanisha, I think he about to get married or is married to his girl" Nikki spoke lowering her tone ready to catch my response.

"Honestly, Nikki I'm not surprised at all niggas like him do this shit every day. They corrupt the good girls and go home and be the best man they can to their women. Truthfully in my head I thought the relationship wasn't much, I mean every time we did chill he would spend the night. Correct me if I'm wrong but, what woman allows her man the ability to stay out all night and not come home?" I replied feeling disgusted I was pissed because I lied to Nikki about the last time I saw Jarell. I made her think the last time was the Summer Jam and I broke it off with him, but I had been fucking Jarell damn near every weekend since then. My stomach had dropped to my feet and my body instantly became hot.

"Nikki, let me call you back" I half way replied as I ran to the bathroom to throw up again. I couldn't believe this, I was set to meet him tonight since I was going back to school tomorrow and he wanted to chill. My mind was everywhere, like was I too naive to think that he had developed feelings for me and just maybe he would eventually leave his woman?. I knew that was dumb to think, it was times like this that I needed to talk to my mother the most, but her prison has been on lockdown since last month so unless I wrote her that was it. I texted Jarell to see what time he would be coming to pick me up tonight.

"Don't cry Angellica, you knew what you were getting yourself into you're a big girl, just chill you don't even know if it's true". After telling myself that I calmed down and grabbed my cup of ice off my dresser as I attempted to pack my clothes. I attended the university of Florida in Gainesville which was an hour and a half away from here.

*Knock, Knock* I heard a faint knock at my room door

"Angel you in their sweetie?" Ms. Catherine asked

"Hey, yes I'm here come in" I replied excited to see Ms. Catherine as always I loved her with everything in me. I smiled at the sight of her older yet so classy white self. It wasn't a secret that Ms. Catherine dated more than a few black men in her lifetime.

She walked in and sat on my bed as I took a seat on the floor grabbing clothes to stuff into my suitcase.

"So your about ready to head back? Did you enjoy your summer?" she asked as she looked directly into my eyes.

"Of course I just really enjoyed seeing my friends this time" I replied

"Oh really! Did you happen to run into Daniel?" She asked with a smile, she loved Daniel and always told, she could tell he really loved me.

"Actually yes, well once but Daniel has changed, I've actually made new friends this summer, well a new friend but nothing serious".

"As long as your happy I'm happy baby girl and that's it, just always know when a person shows you who they are the first time, believe them". Ms. Catherine spoke, which was the normal she always dropped knowledge.

"Now help me up and if this new friend is special enough maybe I can meet him one day?" she replied as I helped her to the door of my room. I smiled knowing that would never happen wishful fucking thinking as usual.

Grabbing my phone, I noticed a text message from Jarell

*Meet me at the spot in two hours*

Rolling my eyes, I threw my phone on my bed as I pulled the covers back and laid down. I planned to take an hour nap until I it was time to meet him. But after the information I received tonight and thinking back to as of recentl, after we have sex he has to go instead of staying the night like he did in the beginning. I knew something was up and for some reason I felt as if this was the end for us.

Two hours later....

Dressed in black and white Adidas tights and tank top, I pulled my hair into an high ponytail and jumped in my car as I drove to Jarell's apartment, after riding for twenty minutes I finally pulled up. Automatically seeing his Jaguar parked I was glad he beat me here, which didn't matter due that I had a key.

After putting my car in park I opened the car door and prepped myself to walk to the door, pulling out my key I unlocked the door to see Jarell sitting on the couch smoking a blunt with bundles of money laid on the table.

"Count that" he spoke as I walked in and sat beside him.

"Well hey to you too!" I replied as I grabbed the first bundle of money, licking my finger I separated each bill as I began counting.

*Ring, Ring*

I looked towards Jarell to see his phone ringing, digging in his pocket grabbing his phone he immediately answered the phone.

"What's up?" Jarell asked relaxed I could tell by his tone it was a familiar person that mattered. Keeping up with the count of money in my hand I rolled my eyes, due that he had yet to really acknowledge that I was here.

"Yea baby I miss you too, just book the trip to Mexico for next week, whatever you want imma holla at you when I get home in a few" I heard Jarell reply to the phone as he ended the call. Up until this point Jarell barely talked about his girlfriend or even answered the phone for her around me, which brought me back to the conversation Nikki and I had earlier.

"Jarell are you married?" I blurted out as I stopped counting obviously pissed the fuck off.

"Why?" he asked

"Maybe because I don't mess with married men!"

"What I don't tell you shouldn't matter to you, the only thing that should matter is what I tell you and the things we do" he replied taking the last pull from his blunt as he looked my way

"That's bullshit and you know it, just be real Jarell I'm a big girl I can take it are YOU FUCKING MARRIED" I yelled sitting up.

Looking at me as if he was contemplating something he inhaled as if he was about to make a hard decision.

"Fuck it, I am married Angel, as of two weeks ago, you happy now" he replied

"Am I happy, you know what FUCK YOU JARELL" I yelled throwing the bundle of money in my hand toward his face. I stood up with a look of disgust as I turned to leave before he could see a tear drop from my eyes.

"You knew what you were getting yourself from the beginning, you getting mad when a nigga kept it real from the jump" Jarell yelled right on my heels catching up to me as I reached the door, he grabbed my hand and yanked me back towards him.

"Let me go Jarell"

"That's never going to happen Angel, your mine forever so quit with the bitch fit. I gave her what she wanted, that marriage shit don't mean nothing when your not happy. I want you Angel, I need you ma" Jarell spoke as he grabbed my face and kissed me as if I was the only girl in the world.

Sometimes when everything you ever loved seems to leave, when the thought of love comes around you hold onto it even if it's not as real as you want it to be.

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Excuse any errors tried to get something out tonight for ya'll....