I feel trapped. I'm not happy. I feel like I'm locked in a prison cell with only my emotions for company,, after a while the emotions begin to corrupt me and the thoughts break free from the cell and enter my mind filling it up with these dark thoughts that I can't escape from. I've been fighting them for years and slowly my walls are begging to crumble and I am broken so many times a single breath could've cause me to disintegrate into nothingness.
Right now I'm looking outside watching the stars. I think the stars are metaphor for many different things for people,, for me I can't comprehend into words what they mean for me. Some nights they will shine so bright and are so beautiful I completely forget all my worries and stresses and just get completely engulfed in the mesmerising display of light seen above me. But sometimes the stars don't always shine as bright. Sometimes the light is drowned out by the clouds and their light begins to fade as the clouds suck the life out of the stars until they are so dull you have to squint to see them. That's what tonight is like,, right now the clouds are suffocating the stars and you can barley make out the light. At this moment in time I have never felt more connected to something in my whole life, i feel suffocated by my thoughts just like the stars are with the clouds. For me the clouds suffocating the stars represent my thoughts and self doubt that is suffocating me and preventing me from shining bright.
The only difference between me and the stars are that even though right now they are being covered by clouds they still manage to give off light, the stars don't give in as easily as me and will fight the dark thoughts so that they can still shine. I hope that one day I can be as strong as those stars...
(A.n I hope that you enjoyed that big mess of emotion and if you are struggling please know that I'm here if anyone needs to talk ( even though no one I'll ever read this) and I will always be here for you also sorry if this is rubbish its late and I'm to tired to correct my writing errors)
