The Abyss

Chapter 7: The Road to Self Discovery

August 24th

Late last night, or more accurately, early this morning after calling Chris I immediately fell asleep and was haunted by yet another nightmare. It's like you can't get a decent night sleep these days or something.

This time was more like the first; I stood floating in complete darkness with no sense of smell, sound, taste or feeling throughout my body. It was infectious, the darkness, creeping about and taunting you with shadows within shadows. Somewhere just out of view, I could sense the feminine figure from before. She gave off an aura of uneasiness and dread, but underneath the fear I could also feel overwhelming rage boiling just beneath the surface.

"Hello?" I called out. "Is the chick from earlier still hanging around?" I feel like there is no real way to phrase such a bizarre question, but it needed to be asked. What if there was other people lurking about under the protection of shadows? What if there were monsters? After all, this was a nightmare. However, reality itself has become a living nightmare so...? What if there was no escape, reality and fantasy, what if it was now all the same? My thoughts were clouded with the heavy, mind-numbing fog only possible in dreams.

I listened intently to the shadows; they offered no response. I could hear nothing, but I could sense... laughter. Cruel laughter echoing around the infinite space.

"Hey! This isn't funny! What do you want from me, whoever you are?" The laughter became stronger, I could tell now that it was the same laughter which signaled my departure from my earlier nightmare the day I got knocked out by Angelica. It came from everywhere at once, and yet it came from nowhere. I took the lack of an intelligible answer as a "no".

"Then leave me alone!"

Then it came, booming and clear, and silent all at once: No. I sensed the lady's head tilting like how a dog does when it's confused about something. Or maybe she was just taunting. Mocking me from just beyond sight.

Okay, maybe I should have expected that. I mean honestly, weird evil shit never just goes away if you ask it to, otherwise it wouldn't be evil.

"Why not?" This felt pathetic. I was at mercy to whatever was lurking in nightmares.

...

"I know you want something, I mean otherwise you wouldn't be here bothering me!" At this point I was just desperately trying to fill the silence with any kind of sound. The feeling I got when she "spoke" was nauseating and can only be described as a sensation doom but not as terrifying as the thick nothingness which enveloped me.

I am sorry, this language confuses me. What I meant to say was that I want nothing for myself. However, I do want something. I want to make you happy.

"Oh, how kind of you? I'm fine, really. But you know what would make me even happier? If you just left me alone!"

Are you happy, Sarah? Are you really? 

"Yes, I'm fine."

Then I have just one question for you. What do you want?

"No. How about answering my questions first, lady. Like who the hell are you?"

I told you before, I am a part of you.

"Yeah, excuse me but that's not very informative, because I know you are not a part of me! I know that better than I know my own name! I have never heard your voice before the day I got smacked upside the head by that other chick! Oh my god! What if this is all just a dream? What if I'm in a coma!? Shit! I don't want to be in a coma, I look horrible when I sleep! My sister took a picture of me napping once and posted it on her blog and the school found out it and I was known as the "hibernating goat girl" for about a year!"