The Swap // Denis Stoff

11

Denis and I go outside for a walk to calm him down. He says nothing for most of the way and eventually stops me by a pond. We take a seat on a bench and he turns to me.

'You do know that she spiked me Amber? I didn't and wouldn't take anything... ever!'

'I know honey.' I soothe, touching his face. 'I believe you. But... did you sleep together?'

'No.' he says quickly. 'I remember the room spinning and trying to get to sleep. I kept pushing her away from me because she wasn't you. She kept kissing me but I was getting really annoyed with her. She ended up sleeping in the back room eventually.' 

I nod, fully believing him. Why wouldn't I?

He turns away from me, looking out into the pond. The day is cool compared to what it's usually like here, and I like it much better this way. As he looks out I study his face. His profile is perfect. His eyes glint as the water reflects into them and it almost makes me well up. This moment is so peaceful, but I'm about to break news to him that could change all of that.

'Denis...' I start, taking my hands off of him. I move away slightly. I don't want to touch him when I'm telling him this news, I don't deserve it.

'What? Is everything ok?' He asks softly. His eyes tell me he's defeated. I don't want to tell him this but I need to.

'When I seen you and... her... I panicked and I ran off. You had lipstick all over your mouth and I was so angry... and you were doing that thing I love... you were circling her shoulder... you guys were so close... so I got mad and I ran off. I... I went to see Derek.'

His eyebrows furrow. 'And..?'

He knows there's more to my story. His eyes bore into mines intensely and I all of a sudden feel like the worst person in the world.

'I came onto him... We kissed... a lot.'

He just looks at me, not saying anything. It looks like he's trying to process a million things at once in his brain.

'I can see why you would have done that, because it looked like I was coming onto Ashley... but Amber... Derek?'

He looks so hurt. he knows Derek and I have a past.

'So do you still have feelings for him?'

'No!' I say, almost cutting him off. I just... knew he would comply. I was so upset and hurt... I wanted to get even.'

'Get even by trying to fuck him?' He sounds more agitated now. He's backed away from me and his face is riddled with anger. 

'Denis you and Ashley probably did worse than what Derek and I did! And also me and you ended up never doing anything in the end! So I know you might be mad but we're both just as bad as each other!'

He stands up and storms away, not even saying anything. I watch him as he stomps off, back to the bus I presume. I don't bother following him. I know that what I did was wrong but what happened between him and Ashley really tore me apart, and to be honest I would have reacted the same with anyone.

When I go back to the bus no one is there. Strange. I look around and no one has left their phone so all the guys must be out. I lock the door behind me, getting a shiver down my spine as I remember who cornered me last night.

I hear someone clearing their throat at the bunk area and I walk through to see who's curtain was shut. They were all open to I crept in a little apprehensive for some reason. I see Denis lying looking at his phone and he turns around to me. Without saying anything he grabs my wrist and pulls me up onto the bunk with him. He wastes no time, throwing his phone down and shutting the curtain and locking his lips onto mines. I am so confused, but at the same time I'm not complaining.

He pulls my shirt over my head and chucks it to the side, kissing me furiously. I pant, finding it hard to keep up with his sudden burst of energy.

'I suppose because none of us got it last night, we should finish off what we started.' he says through kisses. I laugh and comply, getting rid of his shirt too.

He lays me on my back, kissing my collar bone and making his way down my stomach. He unclips my bra and throws it to the side. 'Denis,' I moan, spurring him on. He kisses down to my jeans and undoes the button, sliding them down my legs. He looks at me whilst doing so and I look back, holding his gaze. He smiles at me and I give him a wink back, basically giving him the green light. Before I know it all of our clothes are in a pile by our side and his hands are all over me. I try to keep quiet as he explores my body but it's literally impossible. Just as well everyone else is away out.

 I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him down to me. 'Denis I want you,' I moan into his ear, and he certainly doesn't waste any time. I gasp as I feel him inside me, closing my eyes and taking it all in. It feels like pure ecstasy to have someone who wants me for me. I can just feel it with Denis. I know that this is what he wants, and he knows I feel the same too. I just want moments like these to last forever, but unfortunately Ben is probably somewhere around the corner ready to jump in and ruin everything.

And on cue, just as we finish we hear the door slam open. We turn around to one another quietly, giving each other a cheeky, knowing smile. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into him. 'I'm sorry about earlier. I understand why you acted the way you did.' he whispers into my ear. His breath tickles my face and I smile, turning around to kiss him.

'Thank you. I'm so sorry I did that though. We can't let ourselves get into a mess like that again.'

'I agree.'

And then I remember earlier. he told me he loved me. A pang of guilt washes over me as I remember I didn't say it back. I know what I feel and I feel so strongly for him, but do I even know how love actually  feels? I used to think I was in love, but my heart was ripped out and thrown into the gutter. I literally only just started trusting people again...

I give him a tight squeeze and nuzzle into his chest. I can't let him know how I feel, not yet. I need to know he's not going to destroy me like I was before. I need to be strong.

*********

A light hearted chapter despite everything that's going on with AA just now. Really going to be torn up if denis isn't in the band anymore. :((((( hope you guys enjoyed. Love you x