#Bucky: Cancer

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Warning: this is going to be extremely short. School's been crazy and I really can't afford writing long one shots cause they take up too much time. But I still want to write them though:( so I just thought the best way to do it is to drop little short ones once in a while if y'all would like that:)

This is inspired by Cancer covered by Twenty One Pilots
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I can barely feel his hand on the back of mine. I'm so weak. I wonder how many seconds I have got left before I will leave Bucky forever and ever?

A soft sniffle sounds next to me. Grimacing at my slightest movement, I turn to peer down at Bucky, who has been by my bed side whenever he isn't in a mission. It's sad really. When he works, he plays with death and almost got himself killed in multiple occasions. When he's off work, he's stuck in the hospital by his wife's bedside, watching her slowly fade away.

At least he's fight against death you see. Sometimes I feel like I'm not even trying anymore. It's just so tiring, all the tubes and chemos, they never work.

"Sweetheart," Bucky speaks gently, the ghost of a smirk tugging his his lips. "How are you feeling?"

He proposed when I was hit with the news that I got cancer, third stage. My body then failed me almost at an incredible rate and Bucky decided we should get married while I was unable to raise from the hospital bed. Everybody came. The room was packed. Nat, Sam, Steve, Peter. I'm sure there is more names to the list, but I'm just too tired to think now. I just want to sleep.

But my husband is watching me tenderly with the bluest eyes of them all. I cannot even bare to look away from him for a second, in fear that when I did, I might never see him again.

I smile instead of answering him. These days, words aren't needed from me as an answer anymore. I've been trying to save up more energy so I can spend more time with Bucky. He knows what I'm doing, and Bucky appreciates it. He loves me for it but I can tell its slowly tearing him apart.

Maybe today is the day. I should ask him. I should speak. I want to hear myself too.

"Bucky?"

His mesmerising eyes widen in surprise before watching me with child like excitement. "Yes, my love?"

"Can you promise me something?" I almost squeaked. It's getting harder to fight back the tears in my eyes. Bucky frowns in confusion. Shakily, I reach out and touch his cheek. His form physically relaxes and he leans into my palm.

"Anyway for you, love."

I can barely make out the words. They are too painful to be heard. "When I'm gone," I croaked, a tear falling from my eyes, "can you promise me to look after yourself and make yourself happy?"

He is still in my hand. His eyes are pained and hissing through his teeth, he sucks in a deep breath to steady himself. "Bucky," I whisper with a tremble. Softly, he leans in and kisses away a tear on my cheek, then my chin. "Forget about me and make yourself happy. Can you promise me that?"

He leans back quietly, his eyes are set on mine. "I love you, Y/N," he whispers and places another kiss on my forehead. He smells like adoration and my Bucky. "I can never do that. I will take care of myself, love. Don't you ever worry about that."

By then, my tears are uncontrollable, and Bucky's eyes are bright and glassy under the lights too. We are locked within each other's aura and love and sorrow. With his jaw sets, Bucky runs his fingers over our wedding ring and whispers, "I don't ever want to forget about you, even if it means I'm going to feel an ache in my chest every single day. It keeps you close to my heart."

He doesn't have to say it. I understand. What he has confessed is true, but the unspoken is painfully loud.

Once I'm gone, the ache will remind him of me, of the fact that 'us' once existed, and that it was real. That is what Bucky is too afraid to admit out loud.

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Love you lots!❤️

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