romeo remeemed

chapter 20

If I could have feigned sleep and turned away, I would have, but the Ambassador’s magic calls to me, makes my blood itch in my veins. After only a moment, I slip my shoulder free, slide my leg from beneath Ariel’s, and ease off the bed. She mumbles in her sleep and curls tighter under the covers, but soon grows quiet. I take a moment, soaking in the sight of her, fighting the horrible feeling that this is the last time I will ever see her sleeping. Maybe even the last time I’ll see her at all. I steel myself as I walk to the window, determined not to let Juliet’s nurse know my secret until I’m certain my time is truly up. She won’t be happy when she learns I’m planning to refuse her offer. She said the shift of my allegiance would bring the Ambassadors great power. My decision to return to a rotted corpse rather than swear myself into her service is not going to go over well. The thought makes it easier to return her smile as I raise the window, letting the smell of the spring night and her vanilla perfume drift into the room. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” “You truly have no shame.” Her gaze flicks down and back up again, reminding me that I’m as naked as the day Dylan was born. I grin wider, propping my hands on my hips. “If you’re uncomfortable, I can put something on.” She laughs beneath her breath. “I’m thousands and thousands of years old, Romeo. I remember a time when all humans went around without clothes.” “That many thousands.” I tuck the information away for later. “I always thought you and the Mercenaries were younger. The legends say you were Greeks.” “Legends evolve. They change to suit the needs and understanding of the people who listen to them.” “Like lies.” She tips her head, conceding the point. “I suppose.” “So what lies are you here to tell me now?” “Ambassadors don’t lie, Romeo. You know that.” She crosses her arms, cozy in her dark green sweater, the golden light still shining from her hands making her look like she’s huddled over a camp fire. “I’ve come to congratulate you. You’ve succeeded in record time. Ariel is in love. I felt the change in her spirit this afternoon, a dark weight being lifted.” My heart drops. I knew it. I knew Ariel’s silence wouldn’t matter. “Her heart is secure,” she continues. “She will never become a force for darkness. You can come with me now, and take your place among the Ambassadors.” I step away from the window. “But I … I have to stay and protect her.” “You know that’s impossible.” Her voice is gentle but firm. “Nothing is impossible.” “All right. Not impossible, but criminally unwise. If I were to allow you to stay in Dylan’s body, you and Dylan would both be dead within a few days. His life would be unnecessarily wasted.” “You can’t know that. I might be able to escape them, outsmart them. I—” “This isn’t up for discussion.” Her expression hardens. She’s done humoring me. “You must come with me. Now.” “But I …” I look over my shoulder, gut twisting at the sight of Ariel curled under the covers. “I love her.” “I know. I have to admit, this is quite a surprise. You’re an extraordinary creature, Romeo Montague. The change in you will make you an even more valuable asset to our cause.” I turn back to her. “I’m not a creature or an asset. I’m a man, and this is what my face used to look like.” I point to the portrait in the corner, and watch a hint of unguarded emotion flicker in the Ambassador’s eyes. It’s only there for a moment, snapped away as quickly as a knife from a child’s hand, but I see it. She didn’t expect this. I don’t know whether to be encouraged or afraid. “Ariel painted that. Not from anything I told her but from what she saw in a dream. This is the second portrait. The first she finished years ago.” I pluck the painting from the wall and hold it up to the window. “It’s my old body, on the hill where I took my Mercenary vows.” I watch her, waiting for her to see that this changes everything, but she only stares at me with that same calm, collected, slightly amused expression. It makes me want to strangle her more now than ever before. “How do you explain this?” I ask through gritted teeth. She lifts one shoulder. “I can’t.” “Aren’t you even going to try?” “I don’t see any reason to. We’ve accomplished what needed to be done, and no one—human or immortal—has ever fully understood the magic of dreams.” “Well, you might want to try,” I snap as I hang the painting back on the wall. “Because the friar has come to her in her dreams as well.” “What?” “The friar. He comes to her in her sleep.” I take cold satisfaction in the furrowing of her brow. Stupid Ambassador. But as gratifying as it is to shatter her smug assurance, it’s equally chilling. This woman is the only thing standing between Ariel and pure evil, and she’s woefully unprepared. “He’s promised to forgive her and grant her the peace she’s been seeking,” I continue. “I warned her not to trust him, but I can’t say with any certainty that she’ll be safe from his influence. She suffers from these strange attacks. She believed she was mentally ill, but I held her when she was struck down today. She was full of Mercenary power. I don’t know how, but the souls of the Mercenary outcasts are able to enter her mind. Usually when she’s angry, but I’m sure the friar could arrange for the attacks to become more frequent.” “I’m sure he could,” she says after a moment. “Once certain barriers are broken, many unusual things become possible.” “What kind of barriers? Can they be rebuilt?” “Not that I know of. People who are open to our magic have usually experienced significant trauma. The trauma erodes the natural barriers that keep the mind protected. Without those shields, humans are vulnerable to all types of invasion. The lost souls are only one of many things that might find their way into a delicate mind like Ariel’s. That’s why it was so important for you to—” “Her mind isn’t delicate. It’s under attack,” I say, unable to hide my anger. “She’s being tormented by things she can’t even understand. She deserves—” “Exactly. She can’t understand, and even if she could, it would be pointless to explain. There’s no way to give back what she’s lost. Her mind has opened a door that should have remained closed, and once some things are known, they cannot be unknown.” She casts a significant look in my direction, and then over my shoulder to where Ariel lies on the bed. “I’m sure you understand that. After this evening.” “If you’re trying to make me feel guilty, you’ll fail,” I say. “Being with Ariel wasn’t a mistake. The only mistake would be leaving her undefended.” “And how do you think you’ve acquired a conscience after all these years?” She curls her glowing hands over the sill and narrows her eyes, showing me a hint of the cruelty hidden beneath her beauty. Her expression accentuates the fine lines around her mouth, making me guess for the first time that her body’s age is closer to forty than thirty. “Because of magic I gave you. You are nothing better than you were before. Without my help, you would have never had the chance to care for this girl, let alone be outraged that she’s not being cared for as you see fit.” “She’s not being cared for at all!” I grip the window, mimicking her battle stance. “When I leave, they will kill her. You say you’ll watch over her, but I don’t see that anything you can do will—” “You’re right,” she says, shocking me into silence. “I wasn’t aware that the friar was coming to her in her dreams. I’m only able to touch the sleeping minds of my own converts. I didn’t realize such a deep connection was possible with a human untouched by our magic.” “It is,” I assure her. “She described him perfectly.” She sighs. “If so, if he’s already entering her subconscious mind, then he’ll eventually—” “Drive her mad,” I finish, blood chilling when she nods, confirming my fear. “And the mad are incapable of real love. One must have possession of one’s mind to have possession of one’s heart,” she says. “No …” I shake my head, refusing to believe I’ve understood her correctly. “That can’t be. We have to stop him. This can’t have been for nothing!” “Shhh,” she warns when Ariel moans in her sleep before growing quiet once more. “This hasn’t been for nothing,” she whispers. “You have been brought to the light.” “I … It’s not enough.” My entire body sags. It’s the moment by the tree all over again, when Juliet and Ben were at the friar’s mercy and there was no hope but to destroy them before he could. But I can’t destroy Ariel. Not even to save her from a fate worse than death. I love her too much. What’s more, I respect her. This is her life, and there are some decisions that no one should make for another person, no matter how noble their reasons for lifting their weapon. The realization hits hard. Maybe the Ambassador is right. I know I didn’t do Juliet any favors by tricking her into killing herself the first time, but what if I was wrong to take her life under that tree as well? What if I wasn’t seeing clearly? What if there were possibilities for her future that I couldn’t comprehend? Possibilities … “Romeo and Juliet,” I say, suddenly reminded of the changes in this world. “The Shakespeare play has vanished. Juliet is a one-line obituary, and I’ve become a mention in a tourist brochure. They say I died in a church fire.” The Ambassador doesn’t look terribly surprised—by the change of subject or my revelation. “This is a different reality. Many things will be changed.” It’s what I suspected, but for some reason the explanation still doesn’t sit well. “Benjamin Luna is certainly changed. I saw him today. He isn’t the same boy.” “As I said, choices made in the past will—” “He looks like my cousin Benvolio Montague. Exactly like him.” She hesitates. “You remember his face so well?” “He was like a brother to me after my own brother died. He was seven and I was five. We grew up together. While I was alive, I spent more time looking at his face than I did my own. It was Benvolio I spoke to today, though he believed himself to be Benjamin Luna.” I pause, waiting, but she says nothing. “I swear to you,” I insist. “It was Benvolio, body and soul. Here in this town, seven hundred years after my cousin lived and died. How is that possible?” She gives me a pitying look. “You were very close to him?” “He was the only member of my family who wasn’t cruel, insane, or after my father’s money. But that doesn’t matter. I know what I saw.” “Sometimes what we want to see can be a powerful—” “I wasn’t seeing what I wanted to see.” I clench my jaw, fighting to keep my frustration in check. “I saw what was there.” “I’m sure many people look like your cousin. He was an average boy, if I remember correctly. But you …” She turns back to the picture in the corner. “There is no doubt that that is your handsome younger self. Ariel has a talent.” And that’s it. My concern has been dismissed. But I won’t let her off that easily. “Whether it was Benvolio or not, don’t you understand what this means? If we’d been summoned to this version of the world, Juliet would never have met the real Ben Luna, or fallen in love with him. She might still be an Ambassador, working for your cause.” “Yes, she might still be alive,” she says. “You might not have shot her, or stolen a precious soul from the world.” My chest tightens as Juliet’s wide, dying eyes rise in my mind. The pain is worse now. It was Juliet’s soul, but those were Ariel’s eyes. Now that I’ve looked into her face and seen love unlike anything I thought I’d know again, it’s even harder to stomach what I did. Even if I felt I had no choice. “Yes,” I whisper. “She might even be here instead of you.” Nurse’s voice is hard, merciless. “But she’s not. You are. And confusing coincidences aside, the most important thing is to prevent Ariel from being turned.” “I can’t kill her,” I choke out, throat aching. “I can’t.” Her hand comes to rest on mine. “It might be the only way to save her.” “Please, no,” I beg, knowing she’ll find someone else to do the job if I refuse. “Please. There has to be another way.” “There may be something …” She casts another glance toward the bed. There’s a softness around her mouth that gives me some comfort. Maybe Ariel isn’t simply a means to an end or a way to save the world. “Let me consult the other Ambassadors. If the Mercenaries can enter her dreams, there may be a way we can as well. If so, we can offer her protection.” “I’ll help. Any way I can.” “There’s nothing for you to do. There may be nothing that can be done,” she warns. “But … in light of this news, I don’t think it’s safe for you to leave Ariel just yet.” My breath rushes out, the force of my relief making my arms shake. “Thank you.” “Stay with her; don’t leave her side. I’ll contact you tomorrow.” She steps away from the window, and the light emanating from her hands dims. “If you don’t hear from me by sunset, meet me at the cave on top of the mountain at midnight.” “Could we meet somewhere else, closer to town? I promised I’d take Ariel to the dance.” She lifts a disbelieving eyebrow. “I know it sounds ridiculous, but it’s important to her. And to me. I know I can’t stay, but if we could have one more night, a few hours to share something at least, she may remember …” “She will remember you. And you’ll remember her if you want to badly enough,” she says. “Juliet chose to forget certain things, but you will have a choice. We are not cruel, Romeo. Unlike your former masters, we care for our converts and would not send them to the mist if we had the power to keep them on earth. We won’t steal your mind or your memories. You will guide your own destiny as much as any soul who serves a higher purpose.” A higher purpose. A few days ago the thought would have made me laugh. But now I intend to serve one. Just not the one Juliet’s nurse has in mind.… “That’s good to know,” I say, pretending to be grateful for her kind words, though I know I won’t need them. I won’t be going to the mist. I will be staying here. With Ariel. “In that case, another memory of her would be even more appreciated.” “Very well.” She reaches out. Light leaps between us. Her magic stings as it surges beneath my skin, but not nearly as badly as it did the first time. When it’s over, I feel recharged, as if I’ve slept all the hours I spent staring at the ceiling, memorizing the feel of Ariel’s body against mine. “The power I’ve given you will keep you in this body until midnight tomorrow. Not a moment later. If you haven’t taken your vows to me by then, you will be returned to the specter of your soul and live out the rest of your days in a rotted corpse.” “Midnight. Like Cinderella,” I say. “You’ve always reminded me of Cinderella.” Her dry tone makes me smile in spite of myself. “Do you understand me?” “I understand.” Her lips curve. “Good.” Good indeed. I nod and promise to meet her at eleven-thirty in the woods behind the school, even as I begin to plan my escape from the mercy I was willing to kill for a few days ago. Nurse disappears into the night, and I turn back to the bed and climb in beside Ariel. The covers are warm and her scent weaves through me, soothing all my hurts. I will never forget the smell of her skin. Even when my nose burns with the stench of my own decay. As soon as I lie down, she shifts in her sleep, her head finding my shoulder, her hand smoothing across my chest until it rests over my heart. I can feel the love in her touch, even when she is far away from me in whatever dream she’s dreaming. I hold her close, kiss the top of her head, and hope that her dream is a sweet one. And then I lie staring at the ceiling, working out the details, trying to ignore the crushing pressure as my new heart learns how to break.