Your Infidelity: Allowed It, Because I Love You

Ringless

I am now without dignity.

Distress I feel as memories come to mind.

Numbness I feel in my heart for the man I am married to.

Young Mary Stuart, I no longer am.

Raped woman, I am.

Tonight I wear a gown. It is a wider one than usual. It covers my arms wholly. Half of my breasts were showing, just minutes ago, but I commanded the servants to adjust the position.

I wear ruby earrings, and a gold, ruby necklace. I am wearing the crown I wore on Francis' and my coronation day.

After the talk Francis and I had last week, I contemplate on whether I should wear my wedding ring or not.

"You have to wear the ring, my dear." the voice is Catherine's. "You may despise my son and have passion for another man, but you still have to act the dutiful queen and wife."

"I have been raised to be a queen to both Scotland and France my whole life." Catherine smiles. She is fond of the word 'queen.' It is a good thing that she herself is a queen or she would be envying every queen there is. "So, playing the part of a queen is no playing at all. It comes naturally."

"Indeed," she responds. I am quite baffled with the aura of her presence. Is she angry at me for breaking her son's heart? Or does she pity me still after my assault? Her next sentence answers my question. "Mary, your husband did not rape you. Those evil men did. It is no fair to emotionally torture him like you have been doing."

"You told me once, that we, married queens, cannot rely on our husbands the kings with our hearts," I look at her, challenging her mouth utter more dissent. It does not, and so I speak again. "You were right. I gave Francis my heart, yet he pushed me away thinking he was protecting me." Every word comes and makes me consider guilt.

"Speaking of your son, the king," I emphasize on the title, "he shall entertain every single one of the noble ladies tonight. Their families are bringing them all the way here to hope for their daughters to be chosen mistress by him."

"Mary--"

"I shall come out now. Do you want to come with?" I pick up my wedding ring and put it on my right hand's ring finger. How long do I have to keep wearing this?

"You shall, and Oui."