How Many Heroes

11- Paint

     At our lunch table, Maria asked me, "Are you scared?"

I would've laughed if my heart wasn't in my throat. Yesterday when I took Carlo's bus, I ran as soon as I stepped off, then suddenly walked slowly to avoid making a scene. When my mom gave me pepper spray to carry around, I already had two Maces in my backpack, plus a switchblade that I knew I'd never use Sleep hardly came; every common noise reopened my eyes and kept me frozen in fear. Of course I was scared, probably more than I had a right to be.

"I'm terrified," I said. I didn't think the gang the gang would waste time attacking me again, but after Jesse got jumped, my anxiety spiked anyway. "Are you?"

Maria shrugged. "I know they're not gonna touch me. Now I'm just angrier."

"I'm pissed as hell," Hathaway said, looking downwards. His fist was shaking on the table. "I swear to God, if I find the people who did this..."

I paled. I've seen Hathaway mad, but never like this. Never in a way that sent shivers down my spine.

"Hath, don't tell me you've been looking for those people?" Luke said, creasing his eyebrows.

Hathaway glared at him. "Are you trying to tell me to do nothing while Jesse can't even walk because-"

"You are doing something," Luke said. "The thing he needs most right are his friends and fam-"

"Don't even try that bullshit! What he needs most is place he can feel safe in." Hathaway lowered his voice. "Last night he told me that he might be moving soon."

"Maybe he should," I said softly. As much as I loved having Jesse around, I hated seeing him physically and emotionally beat up.

Hathaway looked incredulously at me. "You're siding with him now?"

"There are no 'sides', Hathaway," Luke said. "Beth has a point. Don't you think that he'd be safer somewhere else?"

"So that's your solution to this whole problem, right? Just run away? That must be so convenient for you," Hathaway said, his fair skin darkening to red. "Tell me, how did you know that Jesse got jumped? How is it that you always know about that bad things are about to happen, but you're always too late to stop them?"

Luke fixed him with a look so sharp that Hathaway moved back. "If you're saying that I helped hurt Jesse, or that I'm a part of the gang, then you don't understand a thing about me."

Hathaway reddened, this time with shame. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

Luke softened his gaze. "I know. When I left St. Monica's, I went looking for them too. There was a group of boys talking and laughing by a restaurant, and I heard them mention Jesse. I was close enough to see the blood on their knuckles, but they couldn't see me. I was so angry I almost..." He shook his head. "I didn't want to beat them up because I was angry. I didn't want to be like them."

"But I have to do something." Hathaway said, getting out of his seat. "I'm going to talk to the principal."

Maria and I exchanged looks. There was no way Mrs. Jameson would even entertain the notion that one of were perfect students attacked Jesse, who she tried to have expelled last year.

"Don't be stupid, Hath," Maria said. "She hates you almost as much she hates Jesse. All she'll do is kick you at of her office, if you're lucky."

Hathaway stood with an expression of absolute obstinacy. "I'm not asking you to come with me," he said, and walked out of the cafeteria.

Packing up my uneaten lunch and backpack, I sighed. "Come on. Let's make sure he doesn't kill anyone."

Being the 'good girl' I was, I'd never set foot in the principal's office. Maria and Hathaway had, of course, of the basis of many fights; Jesse was brought in for allegedly attacking a senior (as if); and even Luke got in for the cafeteria scuffle with Vaughn a month ago. She's been called everything from a self-righteous bitch (Hathaway) to terrifying demon (Jesse). Needless to say, I wasn't excited to see her.