Shadow Wood

Chapter Seventeen

Waking suddenly in the middle of the night, I found myself curled up against Benjamin's shirtless chest, with Petr snuggled against my back; arm curled around me from behind. Benjamin's light snores were the only sound in the room. Flashes of lightning briefly illuminated my surroundings, casting eerie shadows throughout. In a momentary daze, I had forgotten where I was, only to remember that I came to a slumber party, oh excuse me, "bro-over," hosted by Petr. I definitely thought we were too old for slumber parties, but trying to deny Petr a simple wish seemed unforgiveable. So like me, all the guys were here; well everyone that is, except Mason.

Sigh. I was filled with momentary regret as I realized that was most likely my fault. Calling it a momentary regret was probably an understatement. It was the kind of regret I felt I would carry for a long time; maybe even a lifetime. As if sensing my thoughts, Petr tightened his hold around my abdomen as he rubbed his face up and down against my back.

Adding to my restlessness, I had awoken from another vivid dream. About Mason. At least, I was sure it was him. I slightly remember our faces being so close to each other, that he'd brush his nose against mine affectionately.

I couldn't touch him in my dream, and I wasn't able to see him clearly. Things were too blindingly white to see him well enough. I was certain we were laying side by side, maybe laying out in the sun, because I could feel warmth all around me. If there were any smells, I didn't recall any of it. It was just me, with Mason, or was it the other way around? And adding to the perfection of the moment, Mason was smiling tenderly at me without a care in the world. It was enough to bring an ache to my heart. A tiny sliver of hope manifested behind the fortified walls of my emotions, yearning to break free. It was as if every cell within my body wanted to reach out and embrace him.

Benjamin grumbled and hooked an arm around the back of my neck. I was suddenly pulled further into his embrace, as if I was a life size teddy bear. Judging by how sweet Benjamin was, I wouldn't put it past him to sleep with stuffed animals. Gosh his chest was like a rock; it wasn't comfortable at all. Just how did Ellie put up with it? Oh right, they weren't together anymore, but who dumped who?

This was really bothering me. It was Mason's chest I wanted to be curled up next to, but I was now convinced that he didn't want me. He made that pretty clear a week ago. Maybe I was overthinking things again, but I could not get myself back to sleep. You'd think this was every gay boy's fantasy, to be curled up between two hot, half naked straight guys. One with a perfectly defined arm currently coiled around my neck, that I was sure would lead to a neck ache in the morning. Not because—let's stop right there.

As if sensing my loss because Benjamin practically took me away from him, Petr moved over and held onto me even tighter. Nathaniel was on his stomach on the other side of Benjamin. I don't think he moved at all since he closed his eyes. I was usually the type that tossed and turned in bed, but with all these guys, that made it impossible. We were all on the floor, our heads by the bed and feet by the window. I think that was why I instinctively moved towards Benjamin, to hide myself from the lightning.

When the hell is this crazy weather going stop?

It took quite a bit of gentle nudging and slow movements to get myself free of their grips. I was aware Nathaniel was captain of the football team, while Mason and Benjamin played lacrosse. Petr didn't seem to do anything sporty in school, but I easily found out that he liked to run after school. If I could run like him, I think I would have been right beside him.

I was still trying to wrap my head around why Mason was so broody, but then again, I didn't react too well either last week. I think he was still working on cooling himself down, although when I saw him just several hours ago, he didn't seem all that mad at me anymore. Distant maybe, but definitely not mad. Bah! My head was all caught up in one complex jumble that needed some serious sorting out . . . and therapy . . . possibly even medication.