Midnight Rider

run to keep from hiding

The star-filled night sky shattered when a shrill scream forced its way into Dean's memories. He leaned against the wall, sipping at his eggnog and wondering how the hell everyone else was so cheery when all he was worried about was if there was enough whiskey in his eggnog to knock him out for the night. He could already feel his vision blurring from tears at the unwanted thoughts bombarding his head.

Christmas would never be the same. Instead of happy thoughts and smiles, all Dean remembered was his mother screaming from his little brother's nursery while the fire rampaged and destroyed his childhood home.

Thank whatever god was looking down on him that day. Thank the angels watching over him that he'd been able to get his brother out in time. Too bad his father turned into a drunken dumbass seemingly overnight. Dean could practically feel his chest tightening with fear, as if he were there again.

A firm hand at his shoulder jolted him from the brutal memories. "You've been awfully quiet over here, Dean," his brother, Sam, commented. Jesus, was he already starting in on his sympathy crap?

"I'm tired, man. I've been up all day, doing nothing but working. Let me drink my eggnog in peace. And stop it with this whole... love guru, 'talking will make you better' crap. I'm fine," argued Dean with a feigned laugh that made his mouth sore. He blinked a few times to rid the drops from his eyes. His brother was insufferable when it came to his need to appease Dean and make him talk about what had happened that day. He wasn't going to fall for it again.

Christmas carols filtered through the lousy speakers Jessica had bought a few years ago. Static was a constant background noise in the thing. "Look, Dean. I know it was hard for you, I do. But -"

Dean interrupted him with a scoff. "I'm not doing this with you. Not today, not ever. Sam, just drop it," he was growing impatient, and it showed in his stiffening posture and the tight grip he held on his eggnog.

"No. You need to talk about this, if not me - someone else. Just find a way to deal with this that doesn't include drinking all day long," Sam snapped. Jess glanced over at them as the music began to fade. The other guests inside the apartment had apparently heard as well, since small murmurs made their way quickly through the crowd.

Dean stared down at the crack in one of the tiles, lips drawn into a thin line. "I should go. It's getting late," he finally announced with as much glee as he could muster.

"Dean..." Sam trailed off with a hint of disappointment and discontent in his voice. Dean pretended not to notice the disdain in the other peoples' gazes. His mind was foggy and his hands shook as images of his beautiful mother flitted behind his eyelids every time he blinked.

The elevator couldn't get there fast enough, and when it beeped to signal it's appearance, Dean was already halfway down the stairs.

He nearly ran someone over on his frantic quest to get the hell out of that building, didn't bother to apologize for his intrusion into the other man's body. "Dean!"

Sam's voice held concern Dean didn't want. "Dean! You can't drive, man. You've been drinking spiked eggnog all night, and all of those were more whiskey than actual eggnog," he grabbed at Dean's arm to stop him.

"I'm not driving, Sam. Charlie's in there, she's driving me home," Dean replied, yanking his arm out of his brother's grip and shoving himself against his Chevy Impala.

"Seriously? You never let anyone drive this car," Sam growled at him.

"I'm a big boy, Sam. I can take care of myself," Dean said back, a smirk playing at his lips even as Sam scowled in disapproval.

There was a moment of silence that stretched between the two brothers. Sam finally broke it with, "You're turning into dad," and Dean saw red. He lashed out and Sam was falling back onto the pavement with a yelp. He propped himself up on his elbows to glare at his brother, small tears dotting his eyelashes.