White lighters // Phan AU (abandoned)

Part two // Phil

What do I do? What do I do?
I don't believe it if I don't keep proof
I don't believe it if I don't know you
I don't believe it if it's on the news or on the Internet
I need a cigarette

I'm using white lighters to see what's in front of me
I'm using white lighters to see
R.I.P. to my youth

And you could call this the funeral
I'm just telling the truth
And you can play this at my funeral
Tell my sister don't cry and don't be sad
I'm in Paradise with Dad
Close my eyes and then cross my arms
Put me in the dirt, let me be with the stars

Rip 2 my youth~ The Neighbourhood

It was a regular Sunday evening for me back then, when I would come home from my friend's house not in a rush , but in desperate panic. Bottles were smashed off walls , the whole house trembled as doors were slammed , mums oh so nice paintwork flaking off the wall from the amount of times my dad slammed the back door as the front lock was broken from the time I tried to runaway. I wanted to get the fuck out. With the scraps of pocket money from distant relatives and one aggravated thirteen year old self ,I decided to just go. However , being the stupid kid I was I posted of my adventure on snapchat which caused a stash of people that personally knew my parents to frantically dm them the news on their "precious child". I decided to fuck it as it was 5pm in the middle of winter so was getting pretty dark , I headed into a music store and with the money for my provisions- bought high quality headphones to drown out the constant shouting match . I set up a spotify account and I was good to go . A few weeks later one of my friends (a girl) introduced me to a band called " The Neighbourhood" and I was instantly addicted.I understood every lyric , I had recently started smoking a few cigarettes with a few fuckup popular kids . It was all fun and games then. 

A mere two years later I was back at the exact day I ran away .But this Sunday however ,was the start of something. New school , new life. Old habits. I had moved in with my dad after he split up with mum, we moved down south to start new . Tomorrow I would have to start again. I sat on this new bed in this new house in this new town and new life. Yet what was illuminating the darkness was my old lighter from my old life and I had the old jumper that I used to snuggle up in when my parents had their first few arguments. Old habits, new life.

a/n This fic is going to be filled with The Neighbourhood lyrics because their album "Wiped out!" is literally the best album in existence and what inspired me to write this. Happy reading!