White lighters // Phan AU (abandoned)

Part one // Dan

I fumble around in my pocket for my lighter , the cigarette balanced against my chapped lips . It's pitch black and mind numbingly cold ,his arm brushes against mine , his soft skin leaves me shivering more than I was before. The white lighter illuminates the forest around us . I honestly have no idea how we ended up here . I have a white lighter because they're apparently unlucky , yet you can't get anymore unlucky than my life . Well , then I met a human by the name of Phil lester.

*a few weeks earlier*

"Daniel you're going to be late!" My frustrated mother shouts up the stairs. I huff as I'm laying in bed staring at the ceiling its 7:45am I should get up ... But. Ugh.

There is this piece of blutack I stuck on my ceiling when I was five or six. How did I get it up there you might ask ? Who knows , but it was the biggest accomplishment a five year old could achieve. When being five meant toys and birthday parties , not cigarettes and exams like me now at fifteen. I use it as symbolism , like I am that one lonely little spec in a huge white world and that world is my canvas . I can paint it in any colour I want , any emotion related colour. But now the canvas is black like my mind. I get up as its ten to eight , my bus comes at ten past. I search right through to the back of my wardrobe to the place where I hide my lighter and cigarettes , that rush of anxiety and excitement sparks as I select a fresh packet from my stash. I throw them into the deep depths of my PE bag and grab my uniform , rolling up the sleeves of my blazer with my black hoodie underneath , snatching my tie with a severe burn hole in it from when I was bored at break. My mum doesn't know . At all . I run downstairs to grab some toast before I leave and see my mum standing at the back door with a half finished cigarette and still in her dressing gown. She has been a wreck recently since dad completely abandoned us. She did quit smoking but with all this stress. She needed a way to cope and so did I .