White lighters // Phan AU (abandoned)

Part nine // phil

*time skip*
I had known him for 2 weeks now , almost every night we would venture off after school , to his mums coffee shop, to the park and even once to town . But I had never seen him out of his school clothes . He told me he listened to bands like muse and panic!at the disco and others . I was shocked that he listened to the same music as me . We had an extremely long conversation about my chemical romance in maths which resulted in a near detention for the both of us - we were supposed to be revising. Today though, was Saturday . The first time I get to see him in his own clothes . I was wearing my over-sized muse hoodie and black skinny jeans with my converse . I was picking at the side of my phone case , desperate for a cigarette as I had run out . My dad had forgot to buy his pack which I stole out of when he was hungover . For some reason I was nervous. I was stood in the middle of the park , waiting to meet him . I was supposed to meet him at 1pm but it was already 1:10pm . I saw a figure in the distance, dressed in black from head to toe (sorry I had to include that reference:) . He walked quickly towards me . He had huge headphones on and as I guessed , Emo clothes . He wore a my chemical romance tshirt , ripped black jeans and black shoes. He pulled his headphones down to his neck as a smile lit up his face. "You Emo little shit " he said in a hushed voice . "Same to you " I mimicked his voice .we laughed and started walking to where we had came the first time we had hung out . He stopped suddenly "what's up?" I asked .
"Oh I was wondering if you would want to come to my house instead of here , like my mum already knows you ..."
"That would be great " I smiled , I would get to spent time with Dan in his bedroom? This could get interesting .
We nearly got kicked off the bus , Dan started playing "teenagers" extremely loud for no reason and we automatically both joined in , the elderly people on the bus turned around and shushed us like it was a library but we didn't care , we were having fun . The driver shook his head and huffed , about to complain but the bus had come to our stop so we quickly jumped off .
"I'm gasping for a cig" Dan said as we got off . An old lady as the front of the bus looked shocked and whispered to no one " should've known " I scowled at her .
***
He unlocked the door with a key under the mat and heads into the kitchen first . I had stood in his hallway before , on the way to school when he was running late , but I had never been anywhere else here .
He grabs a fresh packet of cigarettes from the stash in the kitchen draw and gets us two monster energy drinks. I follow him up the stairs to what I suspect is his room. His room is littered with band posters and CD cases , much like mine , his black and white patterned bed is solemnly sat in the corner leaving room for a piano and a huge rug and also a wardrobe. I sit on his vaguely clean bed as he goes to get his lighter and places a vinyl on his record player , three cheers for sweet revenge .
I was thinking about the chance I would have to show him my house , zero to none . My dad was even more drunk , and pathetic . The other day he scared me , I had just come back from the park at about midnight. "Where the fuck have you been Phil" he slurred , getting up and walking towards me " eh , I said where have you been ? " anger was brewing in his eyes. " oh have you made some friends ? Has stupid little faggot Philly made some friends , no ?what a surprise you sad fucking loser ." He pinned me against the kitchen door spitting insults at me , gripping his empty bottle in one hand and my wrist in the other, holding tighter and tighter . I was terrified, I understood why mum left and why we had to move out .
I sat on Dan's bed thinking about that night "are you ok? " he lit his cigarette .
"Yeah... "
He passed me a cigarette and a lighter , we went to the windowsill and sat on it together , smoking out of a window .
We were vaguely close , if we turned to face each other our faces would have touched at the least .
"So .." Dan began
"So " I repeated.
***
After an hour of absent mindlessly talking about nothing in particular I hopped of the windowsill and laid on Dan's floor , waiting for him to join me , I stared up to the ceiling, scanning the cracks and chips of the paint with my drowsy eyes . Dan came over and laid his head beside mine , I was ready to tell him about my sexuality, not my family life yet but I wanted to be more open with my sexuality so here goes . "Hey Dan I need to tell you something," I don't look at him , I continue to stare aimlessly at the ceiling biting my grubby nails in anticipation. "Yeah?"
"Um.. I-I'm gay "
"Oh"
"Is that ok ?" I squeak , tensing up as I'm prepared for the same reaction my dad had .
"Oh well ya know , I was literally going to tell you I'm bisexual ..."
"Wow" I laughed with pure relief .
"I wanted to be more open with myself and others and I wanted to know if you were comfortable with it ," I face him eventually, trying my hardest not to talk about my dad.
"That is completely ok with me .." he stares me down with a smirk , there's something glinting in his eyes that I can see , it sparkles in the light .
{There's a voice deep inside a void in the back of my brain which is telling me to kiss him .}

a/n

Well there you go , the person that motivated me to write was Khanada , and for that I dedicated this chapter and the rest of the story to her. Thanks for being a supportive best friend , ily.