Panic attack.
Huge.
Thoughts thoughts thoughts.
Scratching at my wrists.
Pulling my hair.
Eyes burning with tears.
Apologies sent to every contact.
Shaking.
Rocking.
Thoughts thoughts thoughts.
You hate me.
Right?
I can't remember.
You don't want me.
Right?
I can't remember.
I don't want to go back to school Monday.
They don't like me anymore.
I ruin things.
I ruin everything.
I'm sorry.
Please don't ignore me.
I'm sorry.
It was just a joke.
I miss laughing with you and all our friends.
Today.
Staring eyes.
They won't look away.
I'm sorry.
Hiding in the bathroom.
Dad.
I'm sorry.
I upset you a lot.
I do things that shouldn't be done.
I don't act my age.
I need to grow up.
I'm disgusting.
I know.
Sorry for not being the son you wanted.
Mom.
I'm sorry.
I'm just sorry for everything.
Everything.
Sell my stuff.
Get rid of it all.
Burn the pictures of me.
Take my college money and buy a new a vehicle.
Give Emily my room.
Read my journals though.
Journals.
Countless letters.
Endless apologies.
I'm sorry.
