Venting Session... LONGGG BUT PLEASE READ. (not a book)

Something Slight (Not a Book)

  I met a dude named Michael and he was one of those tough exterior dudes with an unexpected inside and a shocking past. I love the different layers and since I am so sheltered it was exhilarating hearing his stories about his life. It included two am conversations about his drug addict mother who died, his ex-girlfriend who got into a car accident and the devastating loss of his unborn child a few years prior. He lived by his self in the trailer behind mine and rode the bus with me. We hung out everyday during school and had a couple of classes together. I called him my best friend simply because I talked to him about everything. We were complete opposites. I was an "innocent" naive girl... almost like a goody two shoes and he was the bad boy who smoked and skipped school. Whenever we used to write notes I would sign it as "Angel". I knew he wasn't my typical friend I would make normally but normal was boring. I secretly had a crush on him and he would always tell me to stay the way I am... think everything was positive and love everyone but don't be weak and naive. In the end, I lost interest in what was important to me, my school life involved him and sometimes he would act mean and say horrible things to me. He was emotionally unattached while I was all in. I would get mad when he said ttyl and not goodnight. I would get mad when his girlfriend was over to his house and he would text me in the middle of the night about how good his night was and how he "got it on". I couldn't change him even though sometimes I wish I could've. I wish I could've been the one who he thought was important enough to call his friend. He always told me that he didn't need me as a friend and you'd think it'll be easy to walk away from that once that was said. But I knew he had trust issues so I would try to prove my loyalty. I would be there during those 2 am text messages and phone calls. I would be his diary whenever he needed me to... and I guess that was the problem. I put him on a pedestal and I lowered my self-worth. We got into an argument one day during class and that was the last time I talked to him and the last time he talked to me. It was for the best but it still hurt. He was the only person that I talked to at the school and my only outside friend from school. We sat on opposite sides of the classroom. We walked past each other like we didn't even exist... it was misery for me, but he was tough so it didn't phase him one bit. It has been almost two years and I still miss him, the friendship was a great learning experience and I am grateful to learn my boundaries and know what I won't and can't tolerate in a friendship, relationship, or acquaintanceship (made up word). So that was just my venting session... any thoughts or questions??  

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________PLEASE GIVE YOUR FEEDBACK. QUESTIONS, THOUGHTS, ANYTHING. I LOVE WATTPAD SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU GUYS ACTUALLY ARE SMART AND LITERATE UNLIKE THE FEW THE COMMENTED ON THE POST ON THE CANDID APP. YOU COULD EITHER SAY ENCOURAGEMENTS OR WHATEVER JUST SOMETHING TO LET ME KNOW YOU READ IT.