Everything that kills me makes me feel alive...
As the voice of Ryan Tedder softly sings her to sleep, Jane stared at the wall hoping to dream of her time with Amelia and Cornelia back when they were still... happy.
"Hey, hey bunny boo bear." Amelia said chuckling.
Bunny boo bear. Cornelia used to call her that when she knew that Jane was upset or lonely.
When Amelia says it though, she feels really disappointed. The warmth was there, but the security? nope. nada. zilch
Jane forcibly blocked out the fact that she knew about Cornelia's death. Waking up though she doesn't remember anything that happened for the past month. It was like someone stole that PARTICULAR part of her memory. She didn't know weather it was a good thing or a bad one.
"Uhm Amelia, what day is it?" She softly asked.
"Oh it's a wednesday." she answered drowsily.
"Well that's wierd." Jane felt Amelia stiffen.
"Wh-h-hy is t-t-that?" she stuttered.
"Well Cornelia isn't home yet and it's half past 10 already." Jane stated in a-matter-of-fact way.
"Oh silly. She's working over time. She's been spending too much money on Dutchess Rowena's maiden ball gown and she said she needed some extra cash." Amelia said as she shifted slightly.
"Oh and one more thing..."
"What is it Jane?"
"Has she met Ashton and the boys?"
"Yeah, she was uhmm. She actually saved Calum's ass from you... no more questions Jane? I'm really seepy." Amelia said quite confidentally. She even finished it with a little laugh. Must be cause of the latter part.
Why are you lying to me?
"No... Goodnight Venice."
"Good night Jane Eloise."
~*~
Jane was awoken by a soft chattering of voices just outside her room. Blindly reaching for Amelia she realized with a start that her readhead cousin was no longer there.
"Ashton, please? I really need your help." she heard the hushed voice of Amelia.
"What, for God sakes Amelia, We can't do that. I don't even know if I can forgive myself if something happens to Jane again." another voice. Must be Ashton, the blonde guy wearing glasses at dinner last night.
"Please? Just for a month." Amelia said pleadingly.
"Amelia, Ashton! Breakfast is ready." The unfamilliar sound of another male yelled from across the hall.
Jane heard small shuffling and then footsteps slowly fading.
What was that all about?
~*~
After an hour of just staring at the ceiling, Jane started to feel hungry. She made her way out of the bed and slowly walked towards the dining table.
"Oh, hey goodmorning Eloise." Amelia said her plate almost half empty.
"Oh so that's how you pronounce her second name." Michael said with a chuckle. "El-low-weese" He said pronouncing each syllable carefully. His plate was now empty but he was devouring a bowl of ice cream.
"Venice." Jane nodded as she sat down on the end of the table. Taking one piece of toast, she started nibbling the crust.
Amelia stood up and got a cup and saucer, "The usual, Venice." Jane said not looking at her but on her empty plate instead.
"So how did you sleep Jane?" Ashton asked, his tone a bit too happy.
"How are you so happy in the morning Ashton." Jane said bluntly while chewing an apple.
"It's really easy you know, all you have to do is think about the person you love rhe most the first thing in the morning. Think about how much fun you'll be havibg with her around the whole day tod--"
He was cutt of when Jane dropped her glass, stared at her wounded hand which was now dripping with blood and started crying silently.
Ashton grabbed a wash cloth and flicked away the tiny glass shards from her wounds and then held her close.
He then carefully brought her to the sink where he washed her wounds. Amelia on the other hand ran off to fetch a first aid kit when Calum and Luke coincidentally just arrived.
"What happened?" asked Calum when he came into the kitchen with Michael picking up the pieces of glass with blood stains on them.
"Jane is still a bit weak and while she was talking with Ashton she kind of dropped her glass and got wounded." Michael said with a half hearted smile of reassurance.
"Oh. Are you alright then Jane?" Luke asked, and with that Jane had enough.
Abruptly she took her hands away from the running water and ran off.
~*~
*Jane's P.O.V*
"I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF PEOPLE BABY-ING ME. I GET IT OKAY I AM USELESS BUT WHAT THE FUCK GUYS. CAN YOU JUST TREAT ME NORMALLY INSTEAD OF ASKING NE IF I AM ALRIGHT EVERY 5 MINUTES."
i screamed as i went to my room and slammed it shut.
everyone was babying me around and i really don't fucking get the point. i feel so useless and so lost and ugh.
running up to my bathroom i splashed water on my face.i saw a glimmer in the corner of my eyes and found asecret stash of blades.
just what i wanted. no i needed them.
i slowly slid them off from the corner of the mirror. its gleaming beauty blinding me, my eyes growing darker with every second that passes by.
then i heard the voice. he was lowly chuckling and whispering threats unto my ears.
i stood there in silence and dropped the blade. he is back and he's out to get me!
~*~
"What the hell was her problem?" Ash grunted in frustration. "I was only trying to help."
The poor blonde just continued to clean the fragments of glass while Luke stood there with shock.
Michael was just about to take the trash out when the 5 heard an achingly familliar high pitched scream.
Amelia's eyes suddenly filled with terror as she realized that it was Jane.
The 5 then make their way to Jane's room only to find Jane up in her window sill furiously trying to pry it open.
"Jane. What are you doing?" Amelia said in the calmest tone she could muster.
"No don't come near me!" the terrified brunnet pleads as she finally opens the latch.
"NO JANE DON'T" Amelia says as she hastily makes her way to Jane.
The brunnete manages to climb up the window furiously scratching her arms and inaudibly screaming nonsense about something.
Ash was processing this all. She haas schizophrenia, these must be one of her attacks.
Just as Amelia reached Jane, Ashton saw a glimpse of something shiny.
"NO!" Ashton screamed but it was too late.
Amelia dropped to the carpetted ground as Jane went soaring down the building.
YOU ARE READING
transmute
Fanfiction"How does it feel to be depressed?" Calum asked the girl who was slightly rocking back and forth on her bed. She was uneasy and anxious but his presence somehow radiated a feel of security around her. "It's like drowning" her fragile lips start to s...
