Thank you

II

This is gonna be a long one, I remember the first day I saw you. 4 years ago, you were wearing and shirt with a cross and lightning on it. Everyone thought you were so cute back then, tbh I didn't until 3 years ago. But it was your first day at my school, everyone was freaking out because you came in the middle of the year and we hadn't had a new kid come in a while. Then after the summer we started back at school and you happened to be in my class, I would have never thought you would have became my first love. I began to develop a crush on you, all through out that year I was dying to tell you but didn't exactly have the guts to do it, I was scared it would ruin our friendship and honestly if you remember we were best friends. I remember on the last day of school, honestly I wanted to kiss your cheek so bad when we hugged, once again I chickened out. Then when we got back to school after that year, well we were still best friends, the day you told me you liked me i believe was a couple of weeks after my birthday, I still wear the braclets you got me. I don't think I'll ever stop wearing them until they break, but I remember telling NS to text you and tell you to ask me out. She did and later that night I got a message and it was you asking me to be your girlfriend honestly I was so happy! I was blushing and I couldn't stop smiling that whole night. We dated for 11 months, we had always gotten in trouble with the teachers for PDA. I always claimed it was bullshit, I understand why they did it now because anytime I look at someone making out on the sidewalk at school it makes me sick. But after those 11 months you broke up with me for another girl, SW to be exact. Peopel caught you making out with her behind the school, everyone told me and it hurt so fucking bad .I tried so hard to act like it didn't hurt, everytime I thought about you and her I had an anxiety attack and honestly that's when they started. I had atleast 3 a day, not even exaggerating. I had one in the morning time one during band class and one during last period. Then at my birthday party you and I ended up being the last 2 together which was really awkward because we were broken up, but my mom and I had to take you home so it was whatever. We dropped you off at your church and I hugged you and thanked you for coming, I got in my moms car and went to my dads house. I texted you later that night, I asked you why you broke up with SW because she texted me asking for advice because she was so broken hearted. The day of the christmas concert, Mia and rebekah and I were talking about how SW cheated on you, and we were also talking about how "obvious" it was that you still liked me, I had no idea but they apparently did. I told them I didn't know if I wanted to get back with you or not, I remember asking for your advice on how to style my hair, you said "either way you would look beautiful." I blushed, then I sang my solo that night. I remember I messed up and I was kind of upset about it you told me I sounded beautiful. Once again, I was falling for your charming words right as I was just getting over you. The next day I waited for you to text me, you didn't until like 6 o' clock. I answered immediately like always, you asked what I was doing, I told you nothing. I asked what about you? You said "
"thinking."

"About what?" I said.

"Actually I was thinking about you."

I knew where this was going the entire time, I acted oblivious.

"What do you mean?"

You asked me back out, and me being an idiot I said yes. You did it again Sara, good job!

Damn to be honest I don't regret it, I don't regret anything we had. You taught me how to love, but then you tore me down, but your apart of the reason I am the way I am. Hm is that a bad thing? That's not for me to judge. Did you ever really truly honestly love me? Or was it just being used? It sure feels like the second one.

Well anyway we were together for four more months, and they were pretty great. You and I decided to not even count our first break up, I still did just because I remember how bad it hurt. I knew I was gonna get hurt by you again, I was willing to take that chance.

I am such an idiot for falling for it twice, I'm over it now. Obviously you are too, I hope you and your new girl are happy, I really do I'm not being sarcastic or anything I mean it. I don't understand how you can get over our break ups that quickly though. That is what makes me wonder if you ever meant it when you said "I love you."

We promised to stay friends, then we lost touch. Do you believe all the rumors about me? Is that why you stopped texting? I texted you the other day apologizing about the passing of your dog. I knew you loved him, I didn't get a text back.

Oh well, you left me and gave up on me just like BT and JP. Atleast I know who and who not to fuck with anymore.