Soot & Ashes

Seven: Hope is the Heaviest Burden

With the passing days Cinders became a little more used to work, although she still fought it to the best of her ability.

Arabella hardly spoke to her sister, she feared that if she did, she would break. Instead she turned a blind eye to her mother's cruelty. Her heart aching in her chest all the while. She missed the stable boy she had fallen in love with and she missed her sister. Somehow she even missed sharing Soot's hardship with her.

Soot missed her sister, too. She tried not to think about it. But Cinders was no replacement at all.

When it was time to chop wood again Soot took up the axe and walked into the forest with a hopeful heart. It had been too long since she had seen Theodore. She went out to the little clearing that they had made in the last few months, the sprouting of new trees showing themselves out of the moist soil.

Soot placed her axe down and sat beside it, waiting patiently. She waited, and waited and waited until the day was drawing dim, the sun sinking in the sky. Doubt had crept into her heart and made it heavy. A tear slipped down her cheek as she wondered if he had forgotten her or if something terrible had happened?

Getting up and wiping her eyes she tried to lug the axe up into the air to make a chop at the tree. For all her strength, she could not hold it over her head and fell back. Just then the sky cracked open and little drops of freezing rain started to patter down on her. Little Soot picked herself up and tried again, there would be a world of hell to pay if she couldn't get enough logs for the fires.

Her shoulders shook with the cold and with her tears as she pulled the axe up once more and tried for the tree. The hilt slipped from her fingers as she swung it forward and hit the root instead, sticking up in it. She tried to pull, pull, pull it up from the stump. But the axe was stubborn and wouldn't budge even an inch. Sopping wet, Soot slumped forward and wept. Whatever would she do now? She was useless at chopping the wood on her own. Useless.

It didn't help that her hope had turned to disappointment in her chest. Heavy like a led weight. She realised hope can be a horrible burden to carry. Still she hoped with all her might for a miracle.

She felt a hand on her shoulder then, stopping still she turned hesitantly to see who had found her.

Only a half hour earlier Cinders had finished the last of her chores and was wiping her forehead of hard earned sweat. She hated getting sweaty and dirty, hated how much her back ached. Still, she had accomplished a hard day's work and she was getting used to the mice in the kitchen she'd discovered whilst cleaning.

Sitting in the kitchen sipping on hot water she'd boiled over the fire, it slowly dawned on her that Soot still wasn't back. "I wonder what's keeping the silly thing?" She thought aloud.

Then it hit her. Perhaps Theodore took what she had said seriously? Perhaps he had not shown up to help the girl chop wood? Had she ever chopped the wood herself since she'd started?

Outside raindrops started to piddle down on the windowpane and the skies grew horribly dark. Cinders felt that little prick in her heart, was it guilt? She couldn't sit there on her little stool any longer and put her cup down before running out the door into the dark, terribly chilly, wet world!

She ran, her hands over her head to guard against pesky little raindrops, straight into the woods following the trail until she came across Soot. She was knelt down and slumped forward in front of a tree sobbing. Cinders sighed and stepped forward, resting her hand down on her stepsisters shoulder.

Slowly Soot turned round to look upon her, her sad little frown turned to a bright smile and she threw her arms around Cinders tightly. Reluctantly, but surely enough, Cinders patted her hair and hushed her like she always imagined her mother would have done when she was little. She felt terrible that her stepsister was so sad, worse that it was her fault. Only, she felt strangely good to be the comforter for once. She didn't feel quite so pitiful being able to be there for someone else, not being the one in need of a shoulder.

"Oh, Cinders, I tried to cut the tree down, only I'm not strong enough. Not on my own." Soot sobbed, letting go of her stepsister.

Cinders smiled guiltily and shook her head. "You're strong enough to do almost anything else, Soot, we all have a weakness, right?"

Soot wiped her eyes and nodded in response.

"Well, maybe if we work together we can get the tree chopped before there's no sun to see with!" Then, rolling up her sleeves, Cinders took hold of the axe and pulled it up with an almighty tug. She flopped back onto her bottom, axe in hand.

Feeling hope come back to her heavy heart, Soot helped Cinders grasp the axe and together the swung it for the tree. With each swing it became a little easier until the tree fell for them. Oh how they laughed, soaked with the still pouring rain water, they laughed for joy because together they had done it.

That night they both sat as close to the fire as they could, shivering under damp blankets and trying to warm their numb fingers. Their noses were red and runny and their eyes puffy and weary. All in all, their hearts had stayed warm and they were both thankful for that in their own way.

"I wonder what could have happened to him..." Soot mused sadly to herself, staring into the fires bright glow.

Cinders glanced aside, her lips dipping into a frown. "Actually," She muttered, afraid to be heard. "I think it may be my fault he wasn't there today, the reason he may not be there again at all." She bit her lip.

"Whatever do you mean Cinders?" Soot turned to her, concern drenching her expression.

"I told him you hated having to go into the forest to chop wood more than anything!" Cinders blurted, hiding her face behind her hands.

Soot sighed, "I see," after a few moments of silence she put her hand on her stepsisters shoulder. "Thank you for telling me. I don't have to hope anymore that I'll see him next time."

Cinders slowly took her hands away from her eyes. "B-but I took him away from you, aren't you angry with me?" She quivered.

Soot shook her head and turned back towards the fire, lifting her fingers up in front of the flame, they still felt like ice. "I'm hurt that you would do such a thing. I'm hurt that I may never see my Theodore again." Then she let out a little sigh. "But, I forgive you."

Cinders frowned at the side of her face. This made anger bubble up deep within her. She just couldn't understand her stepsister, why wasn't she mad at her? Why wasn't she reacting? It frustrated her the most because she knew had the situation been reversed she would have hated the girl forever and never ever forgiven her.