Book I: Avi's Angel

Kung Fu Avi and Supernatural

Avi checked his messages, to see what Esther had on the agenda for the rest of the day. The only thing he saw was some party he didn't feel like going to. He dutifully passed it on to the others, though. Kirstin wanted to stay home with her puppy, but Scott and Mitchi were down.
   "We could watch Supernatural, if you do not feel like going," the angel/vessel suggested. "There is much they get right. It could be educational."
   "Hey, yeah! Yo Kev, you up for Netflix and chill?"
   Mitch choked, Scott snickered, and Kevin spluttered. Only Kirstie, Avi, and the angel didn't seem to know what was so funny.
   The vessel coughed, leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "That does not mean what you think it means."
   "What..?" He asked.
   She smirked, since he was not looking at her. "It is the modern way of asking if a person wants to come up for a cup of coffee."
   Avi turned a hilarious shade of red, and Kevin said he'd rather go to the party.
   When they were home, and Kevin was getting ready, his Guardian Angel asked how he wanted to watch Supernatural.
   "What do you mean?"
   "Well, the first episode is nonnegotiable. You won't understand anything about the boys or their dad without it. After that, you have three options: you can marathon the series, which takes weeks; especially with your busy schedule. You can watch pertinent episodes. Or you can skip straight to the bit about angels.
   "Personally, I'd opt for the second choice. You can always go back and watch the episodes that didn't affect the main plot, because those are some of the most fun ones." She shook her head, smiling at a memory Avi did not share. "Prank wars..."
   "I could save those for long commutes. That way, if the signal gets dropped, I don't miss a plot point."
   "Right, exactly! So turn on episode 1 (not Star Wars) and let's get our Supernatural on!" They sat on the couch next to him, legs tucked demurely to one side.
   Had they been human, this would have resulted in a slight lean toward Avi. Since they were not restricted by joints or muscles, their posture remained erect. It was rather unsettling to behold. He privately thought it gave them an eerie, boneless look.
   She knew where the jump scares were, so they weren't surprised. Avi, however, was a different story. His arms flew out, and one hand would have struck their chest, if they had chosen to be corporeal; but as it has been said, she knew ahead of time.
   He turned slightly green at this reminder of her inhumanity.
   To avoid further embarrassment, he lay his arms along the back of the sofa, in the vain hope that his startlement would be less evident.
   :Does he really think we cannot sense the jolts through his arms, and the couch? That we do not hear his knuckles strike the wall behind our very head?:
   :Leave the poor guy some pride. Here's a lesson in humanity: It is considered polite to ignore the faux pas of others. If humans, particularly men, have the illusion that nobody saw it, their fragile egos remain intact.:
   Like I did earlier for you, she added where he could not hear.
   Hours later, he rolled his head their way. "How much of that is true?"
   She wasn't sure he'd like their answer. "Bits and pieces are wrong, but overall, most of it is real. When we reach wendigos and whatnot, I'm not sure what will be true or not, but the demon stuff... Yeah..." The angel let her answer, because he agreed with her assessment of his readiness.
   His face, after learning that demons were real, broke her heart. The angel had a different observation. "What on earth did you think we were Sent to protect you from? Wolves?"
   His eyes shimmered with suspicious moisture. "Can you? Can you really guarantee my safety?"
   They stood up abruptly. "If it will ease your mind, we can teach you to defend yourself."
   He stood, more slowly. "So, what, you want me to throw a punch at you?"
   "That would serve no purpose. You cannot hit us. Besides, that is merely a movie device designed to--"
    His fist struck empty air, left in their wake. They grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back, just shy of the point of pain. One handed. They immediately released him.
   "It is pointless to test us, boy."
   He shook his head doggedly. "Shows me what you've got. You're supposed to protect me from those things, so let's see it!"
   He tried a kick, but they swept his poorly-planted leg out from under him before his foot could connect. Then they sat on him! The worst part was, they were so unbelievably fast that they guided his fall to the ground! He barely felt the impact, or the weight of the celestial being bearing him to the ground. He simply could not get up.
   "This is the point of those silly 'try to hit me' scenes." They stared down at him dispassionately. The pendulous breasts did not heave with exertion, but they hung a scant foot from his nose.
   "Um..."
   "They want the audience to see how badass the teacher is; what the student could become. But," they said, pushing away from him, "you will never be a match for an angel." It was not bragging. 'Twas said with cold certainty.
   "Oh." He didn't know whether to be disappointed or relieved.
   They hauled him to his feet effortlessly, the grip on his wrists firm, yet light as air. They released him immediately, arms crossed within sleeves.
   "We were thinking a simple form, with a blade, which should cover you on all sides. Have you a bit of plastic or wood that approximates the heft and balance of your blade?"
   He started. "How do you know I have a knife?"
   "We have seen it. It was a gift from your mother, yes?"
   A chill shot down his spine.
   "You forget whom you address, boy. Have you a bit of wood, or not?"
   He shook his head, too stunned to speak. He did often forget she wasn't a woman with superpowers, but an agent of the Lord. "Why can't I just use my knife? It's not like I'd hit you. You've made that abundantly clear!"
   "'Tis not our own nonexistent hides we are worried about."
   "Oh. Well, can you, I dunno, peace bind it or something?"
   :Good question. Can you do it? Human peace binding changes the balance and handling--geez, sounds more like a car than a knife!:
   The angel sighed. :I'll just have to make a duplicate with no bladed edge.:
   They vanished and reappeared in his bedroom. He found the knife easily, and slid it into their wrist sheath. With one hand on the original in the left sleeve, and the other on an empty slot in the opposite sheath, he created a dull version. The handle, length, and weight were identical.
   :Now, we make it look good.:
   :Dude, that looked good!:
   :Perhaps, but all the action was hidden. I always wanted to try my hand at human "magic".:
   She laughed. :I dated a magician for a while. My memories of his tricks are at your disposal.:
   :Of course they are.:
   She rolled her eyes.
   They manifested in front of Avi.
   "Your blade," they said, a twinkle in their eye. The dagger flicked into their left hand. They offered it to him, hilt first.
   Before he could touch the serrated weapon, it was whisked back into their sleeve. The move ended with both arms crossed within voluminous folds.
   "Well? Are you going to make it safe, or not?" He sounded more impatient than irate.
   "As you wish." They bowed rather mockingly before presenting him with the doppeldagger from the sheath on the right in an overly showy gesture.
   He sort of... squawked, when he saw his mother's blade apparently smelted and reformed.
   "Worry not, we know its proper shape." This was, of course, because its proper shape rested against their forearm.
   "You'd better!" he croaked.
   Without bothering to reply, their own blade appeared in their hands. It dwarfed her stunted fingers, so he shrank it to the size of a shortsword with ill grace.
   "Do not attack us. Mirror our motions."
   He backed carefully around the coffee table, to give himself room. They responded by negligently waving a hand, which shoved all the furniture neatly against the walls. Nary so much as a paper moved from its place atop a table.
   He was, reluctantly, impressed.
   They swept their sword down in a wide arc, and waited. He remembered that he was supposed to be doing what they did, after an uncomfortable (for him) pause.
   He arced his blade down, but they adjusted the angle of it with a tap of steel and... whatever that sword was made of.
   They resumed the sequence, correcting whenever necessary. If she ever thought he was being too hard on Avi, she reminded herself that this was literally a matter of life or death.
   The moves required near-constant turning, but they stayed in front of him no matter which way they all turned. It was as if there were an invisible bar attached to his chest that they pivoted at the end of.
   They started him out slow, but steadily increased the pace. Faster and faster they whirled until Avi began to tire. He stumbled, would have fallen had they not righted him.
   "Again!" he ordered.
   Avi tried to comply, leaden limbs barely able to hold the small blade aloft.
   The angel made to correct him, but the vessel refused. :He needs to rest.:
   :No, he needs to be able to protect himself.:
   She ground her teeth. "Stop!" She told them both. "You've had enough for one night. What episode were we up to?"
   The angel fought her when she took Avi's hands and gently pried the blade from stiff fingers.
   :He will never learn if you coddle him.:
   She pushed Avi onto the couch. It didn't take much force to tip him back into its padded embrace.
   :You let your feelings for him weaken us both,: he said, warming up to another lecture.
   :GABRIEL! Open those shiny eyes of yours, ye great bloody idiot!: She lifted one long, elegant hand from where it dangled limply, and dropped it. There was no attempt to stop it. The dull thwap against Avi's thigh emphasized her point for her.
   :He eats, sleeps, and breathes. We do not! He will never be able to keep up with us! Stop trying to make him into an angel! He. Is. Human!:
   Stunned by both her words, and the use of his given name, Gabriel offered no further resistance.