October 17, 2016
12:39 a.m
As I think about what might happen today, I always find myself wanting to look, no, stare. Stare into your eyes all day.
Bakit ganito? Hindi ko alam.
Maybe I'm curious.
I convince myself I'm curious.
Gusto kong tumitingin sa mga mata mo pero hindi ko magawang tumitig.
Natatakot kasi ako.
Na baka tuluyan akong malunod sa lalim ng mga iniisip mo at hindi ko na magawang makaahon.
And I can't do that.
I'm supposed to be focused on someone else.
Pero bakit nung nakilala kita, ang hirap lumayo?
Ang hirap umiwas na hindi ka kausapin.
Hindi nabubuo yung araw ko pag di kita nakaka usap or nakaka chat.
Nakakabaliw.
Hindi ko alam kung anong dapat kong maramdaman.
"Everytime I see you smile, I can't help but to smile back also. Damn your smile." -xxxx
As I have read your post, at first I thought it was me.
Sorry di naman talaga maiwasan mag assume di ba?
'Cause I remembered one time na nagkatinginan tayo tapos napangiti ako, and then you smiled back.
Akala ko ako yung tinutukoy mo sa post na yun.
So I tried asking you kung sino.
And hell, napikon ka ata.
At ayoko ng naggiging ganun yung way ng pakikipag usap mo sakin.
So I apologized.
Sorry if I'm being this way. I want to know and you don't want me to so I backed off.
Sorry if I'm being kind of pushy sometimes. 'Cause I want to know more of you.
Would you open yourself up to me again please?
I'm afraid na kapag tumagal pa to, mabaliw na ko sa kakaisip sayo.
Until one of your friends commented someone's name.
Actuallly one of our classmate's name.
Damn. Umasa ako.
After I apologized, ok na ulit tayo. And you apologized also.
So suddenly I smiled again.
Hindi mo din pala ko matitiis.
I tried asking once again, trying to confirm if it's really her.
But you said no.
I'm relieved.
But then I couldn't help but think na baka ayaw mo lang na malaman ko kaya tinatanggi mo sakin?
Fvck these thoughts.
Alam ko naman na somehow tama rin yung iniisip ko.
After that, you told me hindi talaga bagay sakin ang nagd-drama.
Well you always tell me that anyway.
Pero hindi nagbabago yung nararamdaman ko sa tuwing sinasabi mo sakin yan.
It never failed to make me smile.
Sabi mo mas bagay sakin ang maging masaya.
And so I've decided I will be happy like what you said.
