Hotter Than Hell || AHS || ✔

chapter 4

"You seem happy?" Anna asked writing like always something down.
"Yeah... Yeah, i am happy." I said tapping my fi gers in the armrest of the couch. Creating a random melody.
Im finally walking out.

"And why this sudden change?"
"Just a good day?"
"Hm.. Okay Samantha. I got an idea. Why don't we talk this time about something new. Not the same stuff like the anger, the sadness, life... What do you think?"
"Okay.."
"Perfect. Then, what do you want to talk."
"Lets talk about happiness."
"Good. I like it. Tell me then, what makes you happy."
"Happy.." I continued to drum my fingers, thinking.

Him...

"I like cold winter nights when the sky its clear and the cold wind hitting your face gives you a feeling of freedom."
"Good." She nodded smiling.
"And hmm... Music , music makes me happy, i relate to some songs. Its like a reminder that im not alone."
"Thast true."
"What about you" i asked.

She looked at me surprised.
"Well, uh.." She moved awkwardly.
"Things that make me happy are small things sometimes. Like a good hour with friends and reading books, enjoying life i  general."
"Thats sweet." I smiled and she did to.
"Anything else? " she turned the coverstaion back to me.

"Photographs, little lights, rooftops, big cities, James..."

I froze.

It was the first time i mentioned his name. The first time after i left that i allowed him to be part of my daily thoughts.

"James?"
"Uh.."
"Who is James to you?"

Everything.

"No one." I answered quickly.

"You mentioned him in things that made you happy."
"It was a mistake."

I wish it was...

"Who is James?" She repeated the question and with the look plastered on her face i knew that she wasn't going to let it go.
"He...he.. He was someoen i-uh..."
"Breathe. Its okay."
"I just don't want to talk about him."
"Why does he make you happy?"
"He makes me happy beacuse.." I let out a laugh. "He was a beautiful disater. He was the best mistake i made. And to be honest, its his fault im here but thats okay. When i said goodbye we agreed to be friends. Just friends. But before this he made me happy because he was so spontaneous and stubborn, James always found a way to crack jokes around and when he looked at me... I felt the whole zoo inside me. The way he smiled at me, dark shinning eyes, the way he walked, his ridiculous accent that i found cute and his dimples! I was obsessed with his dimples. It was so perfect."
"Then what?"
"We ended up together until he did some supid shit. He couldn't change. He was different. In everything. He had his way. Always. He loved someone else! He fucking loved someone else no no," I looked at her "He didn't loved her, he was just obseessed. He was obsessed with the idea that she was the one for him. I was there for him! I did everything for him! But he threw me away like a garbage."

Anna nodded, listening carfully.

"Then one day, it all stopped. I was done with him and i was do e with myself too. After fighting my voices i made a decision and i walked away."

All that good mood was replaced woth anger and disappontment.
"How did you met him?"
"He owned the hotel i was staying. As time passed i ended up loving him."

"Do you miss him?" She blurred out.

I looked at her wide eyed.

Every single day.