THE UNTITLED || 5SOS || 1D

13.

I woke up at nine a.m. and I was immediately sad. Harry's leaving today. We both got ready and went downstairs to eat and say goodbye to my family. My mom and Carson were crying whenever we left. They don't want him to leave.

We got to the airport and I already felt the tears coming. I parked and walked him to the security point. That was where I had to leave him. That was last time I'll see him in person for a while.

We cried our eyes out. We hugged for ages and kept telling one another that we love them, over and over again.

"Please don't go" I begged, tears running down my face.

"I don't have a choice babe. Just remember that I love you and I'm just a text, phone call or FaceTime away"

One month later and the memory keeps replaying in my head as I lay here in bed.

We've kept in touch of course. We text everyday and call or FaceTime before we go to sleep. As much as I miss him, I'm glad he's doing what he loves with his band. They're currently recording a new album in London. They'll be going on a short UK/US tour shortly after the album is over. They boys are doing everything in their power to get us signed to a label. They are also trying to get us as an opening act.

The Untitled are doing shows left and right and making a good amount of money from it. We're in the process of making our own self recorded album. I decided to use Clarry as the model for our cover and she is really happy about it.

I also have some things going on internally thanks to Mr. Styles.

I haven't gotten my period this month.

I started a week before he visited and now, a month later, it's a week late. My periods are normal so I'm a little scared.

I made an appointment for tomorrow at the clinic to get tested. I haven't told anybody about it yet. I don't want them to spread it and have Harry find out from someone other than myself.

I'm hoping that I'm just late. Even though I'm twenty and making a good amount of money to live off of, I don't thing Harry and I are ready for a child.

Whatever happens, it'll be okay.

Later that day, I took Carson to the store to buy her some new clothes. She's growing up so fast and before we know it she'll be starting school. I brought her with me because I know she loves picking out her own clothes and mom gave me a good amount of money. Maybe too much money, like she expects me to get her a whole new wardrobe. 

On the way to the mall Carson facetimed with Harry, telling him how much she misses him and how were going to get new clothes. She goes on and on about pointless topics and Harry listens to her and agrees with everything she said, even if it didn't make any sense.

This  makes me wonder if he is ready for a child. He's so good with Lux and Carson, he's husband material really. I'm not sure if i'm ready but I feel like I could do it with Harry's support. Financially, I can do it. It might be a little harder without help from Harry and there's no stopping him from doing what he want's and spending money on me. He even spends money on unnecessary things for Carson like toys. She has a ton of toys but he still buys her more.

We got to the mall and we said bye to Harry. Carson drags me into her favorite stores and picks out what she likes and I grab the correct size. I have to say, for being so young she has a good sense of fashion. We pick some shoes and some more clothes from a few different stores and she's ready to go home but not before we get ice cream. It's a tradition. 

As were sitting eating our ice cream a lady comes over to us and makes a comment on how my little girl is so adorable and how i'm a good mom for spending time with her. I told her that she was my sister. The lady's whole demeanor changed. She scoffed and walked away. 

This makes me think more about if I am pregnant. Are people going to think Carson and the baby are both mine? Will People judge me?  

When we got home mom looked through all the items we bought and put them away. As she's putting them away, Carson is telling mom her favorite things about each shirt, each pair of pants, each dress so on and so forth. 

Harry and I are talking on facetime and i'm so tempted to tell him but I can't. Not until I know the truth.

"Are you okay babe? You seem out of it" Harry says.

"Yea im fine, just tired" I smile, hoping he goes along with it. We continue to talk for about an hour or so, and I tell him i'm going to bed. After we hung up, I went to talk to mom. She'll know what to do.

Hey mom? Can we talk?

Of course.

Okay well..... I had my period a week before Harry came to visit and its a month later and i'm a week late. 

Have you taken a test?

No, i'm going to the clinic tomorrow to get tested there. I can't do it by myself. If someone else tells me its positive or negative, ill be more likely to accept it.

Have you told Harry that you might be pregnant? 

No.. I can't.

You'll have to eventually, especially if you are. You can't hide it sweetie. Do you want me to come with you? 

If you wouldn't mind, that'd be great. I'm so nervous. I've had butterflies in my stomach for a week.

Honey, you might be pregnant. That's one of the symptoms I had with Carson. 

Great...

It will be okay. I'll be here for you every step of the way no matter what happens, okay?

Thanks mom, I appreciate it.

You're welcome. Now go to sleep honey, you've got a long day ahead of you tomorrow.

I went up to my room, texted Harry goodnight one more time and went to sleep. 

My life could change forever tomorrow.