Suicide // Haylor AU

Chapter 27

Chapter 27
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 3
4 days left

In English, we've moved on from talking about depressed American poets to our unit on Paradise Lost. I guess we're just hopping across the pond, shifting our focus from depressed American poets to depressed English ones.
Mrs. Marks is in love with John Milton. She keeps clutching the book to her chest, like it's a baby and one of us is going to rip it from her hands and run away with it. Apparently she had to fight for years to be allowed to teach it, and she still acts like any second the superintendent is going to come in and shut the whole thing down.

The room is quiet, and Mrs. Marks goes back to yammering on and on about Paradise Lost. She assigns us our pages to read for homework and then the bell rings. As I'm leaving her classroom, Mrs. Marks gives me a small thumbs-up. I nod at her, smiling with my eyes. I hurry down the hallway so I can get to physics before everyone else arrives. I'm practically out of breath by the time I reach Mr. Scott's classroom.
"Whoa, Taylor," he says, holding his hands up above his head. "No need to run."
"Sorry," I pant. I catch my breath. "I just wanted to ask if I could still apply for that summer program."
His lips spread into a huge grin. "Yeah. The deadline isn't until May first. There's still time for you to put together your application." He walks over to his desk and opens one of the drawers. He pulls out another copy of the brochure and hands it to me. "Just in case you lost the other one." He winks at me.
I think about telling him that I still have the other one he gave me. That the glossy pictures are smudged now because I've spent so much time flipping through the brochure. Trying to imagine myself as one of those smiling kids, wearing goggles too big for my face, peering into a microscope or building a bridge out of toothpicks.
I still can't really see myself that way, but I can imagine the possibility of it. Scratch that. I can feel the potential of it, deep down in my gut.
But I don't tell Mr. Scott any of that. I take the second brochure from him and smile. "Thanks."
I'm walking to my desk when he says, "Oh hey, Taylor?"
"Yeah?" I turn around.
"How's your project coming along? I'm excited to see what you and Louis came up with."
I think back to the trip to the zoo. It seems like years ago. "We'll be ready by the tenth."
Mr. Scott smiles. "Good, I'm looking forward to it."