Fearing the Dark

Dean vs. Aero

I sit in my sleeping area and turn my back to the group. I hear them whisper among themselves, but I block out their words that are hearable to my trained ears. The whispers continue, but I also hear footsteps nearing me.

"Aero?" I ignore Dean's call and stay focused on the wall in front of me. "Are you pouting right now?"

I loosen my mouth in order to get rid of the pout on it, well what I assumed a pout is. "No."

"You talked to me." I sigh at his answer because he had gotten me to speak to him. Quite easily in fact, but I can't stay mad at Dean for long. I turn to face him and watch as his shadowy figure kneels down in front of me. "What's wrong?" He reaches for my hands and I freely give them to him to hold.

"I don't like this talk of death." His hand tightens a bit. For once I am glad that I am unable to make out his facial features because I knew it would only show sadness.

"Aero, that isn't the main point. The point is that we will be free. Isn't that what you want?" My own hands tighten on his already clenched hands.

"Not at the risk of killing someone. Anyways it isn't that bad down here. I have you and isn't that all we really need?"

I couldn't tell him the truth. Sure what I said isn't a lie but it isn't the complete truth. Unlike the others I had awoken to no memories and some things I had to relearn through the others stories about the world outside. I am afraid of the unknown and of Dean finding out who he is only to abandon me. Down here I am safe and despite the conditions I know I am not alone. Is it wrong to want to keep everyone down here with me?

I look away from Dean who stays silent at my response.

Of course it's wrong to keep everyone down here. But I know deep down that I am also keeping them safe, from the wraith of our guardians and from the outside world that has yet to help us.

"It's not enough for me Aero and it shouldn't be enough for you." Dean drops my hands as a piercing pain overcomes my chest at his words. He stands and towers over me as I try to come up with a way to reason with him. "I want to know who I was and I will get out even at the risk of death."

I flinch away from his words, but something in me panics. Dean can't die, and I refuse to let him do what he wants. I need to protect him; he means everything to me even if he doesn't feel the same way.

I get up as well and straighten my back in order to meet Dean. "No you can't, we need to stay down here and protect one another. They are protecting us, why can't you see this." Silence follows my words as for the first time I raised my voice.

"No they are not! We need to leave not idolize them!" Dean shouts and my ears instantly ring at the noise.

"It doesn't matter who we were. We are who we are now, so why do you insist on dwelling on something you don't even remember. They are obviously guarding us from our past!" I raise my own voice and once I settle my throat feels raw at having raised my voice.

Bam!

I look at the figure in front of me surprised at his actions. Dean had grabbed onto my shoulders and slammed me against the wall.

"No, it does matter. Maybe not for an empty doll like you, but it does mean something for the rest of us. We still remember a world not down here in the darkness, and you can't keep us down here." His tone had gone back to a more leveled sound.

I try to get out of his grip as tears fall down my face at his words. "I-I-I AM NOT A DOLL!" I push him back as my voice comes out in a loud screech. Dean let's go in surprise and falls back at my shove. My throat feels even worse, but I use the remainder of my voice to speak. "You plan to kill someone else, for what? To wander in a world that left us down here. You don't even know who you are! I at least know who I am now and try to be in the present because that's all I have. I love you, but you obviously don't feel the same."

Dean crawls away from me and I can feel the tears coming on stronger. My voice begins to crack and fade after speaking so long. I look down at the floor. I begin to laugh hysterically at the situation and my feelings. Maybe, I really am empty. I place my palm over my eye and begin to rub furiously against it. "I'm willing to spend my life down here with you, but all you want is to leave me. Fine, I can't deny you your request, can I? I would do anything for you and if that involves wanting to kill yourself then I will let you do that, but I refuse to be involved with your own pathetic actions."

I watch as Dean reaches the others who had stayed silent and looked on at our argument. He stands and slightly blocks them from my view.

"You are weak Aero and I won't stand still to watch other's be beaten by those you consider saints. I love you also, but I also remember others I loved before you." He turns his back to me and my mind shatters at his rejection of me.

My hysterical laugh turns into silent sobs until I become quiet. Am I finally alone in this world? No.

I think about our guardians and there power over us. I turn my back on the group and despite my words and his I knew I would still do everything in my power to protect him. Even if it meant betraying him.

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Ohhh, Aero what are you thinking?!!!