Doll Perfect (2)

chapter 3

Dear diary,

I haven’t written to you for a while, have I? When was the last time? Five months? Six? I wanted so bad to write.  But I am scared.

So scared.

 Charlie told me something is changing.  That I am changing.  Charlie also said that soon, we could be friends again.  But not now. 

Why did he say that?  I tried to make him explain but he just walked away.  I ran after him, but he just went away, I screamed his name till my throat burns, I ran till my lungs felt is if it will burst, I cried till my eyes felt dry.  I fell diary, I fell hard that my knees, my elbow, my lips bleed… but Charlie doesn’t come back.  He left me alone to cry.

I am miserable diary love. 

It is not a good feeling love.  Something you don’t want to feel, I forget how it is to laugh. I wonder how it felt…   I forget how to smile… how? … It is so… so … foreign...

Mommy told me to stop writing diaries.  She said it is a giveaway of who we are.  A flaw.  But, I have nobody diary.  Only you to remind me who I am.  Mommy also said that she will never call me Danielle.  That is no longer my name.  She changed it to something else.  I can’t tell you what diary.  That is a secret I have to hold till the day I die. 

Diary, there is something forming in my heart.  It felt so cold.  Like ice.

Am I finally turning into a full-grown doll?

Danielle .