Warped, My Vision

Chapter Seven

AN: Last real chapter...I wrote this back when I was still working on CLB lol

I grip the steering wheel so intently my knuckles turn white.  I feel disconnected from reality, like I'm really floating several feet above my body and this world is just a video game I'm playing in my basement.  If I focus on that feeling hard enough, maybe I can snap out of this.  Snap out of this reality, this trance. 
    Aaron is in the passenger's seat, but he hasn't said a word since we left the barn.  Carrie's asleep in the backseat.  She drove all night while I slept.  I'm not sure how I found it in myself to sleep after everything, though.  I don't think any of us will be sleeping soundly for a while. 
    I catch another glimpse of Aaron through my peripheral vision, and I can see that he's rocking back and forth in his seat, biting his lip.  I stare at the road harder, as if it will change anything.  My mind is chasing itself in circles with its thoughts, not changing anything, not getting anywhere.  This moment just extends into forever because I can't imagine a reality following this.  The sun is coming up now, and my eyes struggle to adjust to the bright light on the horizon. 
    The demon got what it wanted, didn't it? Will it leave its son alone, now? Aaron's committed suicide, been murdered by his father, watched his mother be taken away, killed his friends, and killed his mother.  How does someone just continue living after that? I can't imagine going back to my life even with my experiences, but what will Aaron do? I don't want to think about it.  I don't want to think about any of this.
    Not knowing is scary, but knowing is scarier.  And so my mind struggles with itself, ping-ponging thoughts back and forth as if it can postpone the future. 
    Aaron's mom is dead.  Or at least, I hope she is, or will be soon.  The alternatives are too horrible to think about.  She died, or, at least, she sacrificed herself for her son. But at this point, I can't imagine his life is worth much to him. 
    It all seems so hopelessly pointless.  Did she suffer that much for nothing? She left her past behind her and tried to raise Aaron apart from it, and it ended her.  It ended Aaron. 
    I wonder if she regretted keeping him.  No, I'm sure she did, at least, I'm sure she did occasionally.  I just can't escape the fact that her life was so meaningless. 
    We're alive.  We're alive, and in this moment, we are not in danger.  In this moment, we are living in the safety that Ambre Light died for us to have.  I will not let us waste that.  Not after what we've survived. 
    I won't let Aaron slip away, out of this reality, even if he wants to.