constant static
went to bed two hours early last night-
i am more exhausted than i
have
ever
been.
i once heard someone whom i have now learned to miss
mumble "it shouldn't take this much energy just to exist"
but it does
oh it does
my heart does not cease to throb as i trudge-
through the hallways where i see ghosts of a girl i once was
walking cheerily with her bright eyes and hopeful smile
not without scars, but nonetheless still truly, deeply alive
i am her.
i was her-
now i am smudged around the edges
i radiate this toxic, noxious... gray
that i can't seem to shake
i am still so young but i feel ancient and shriveled and weary like i have endured one too many winters
this is so prominent in my mind that i'm starting to believe that youth is not physical but entirely internal
it shouldn't take this much energy just to exist
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a/n: wowow so cheerful and uplifting
seriously though let me know if my stuff is too negative bc that might be why my book gets as many reads as it does idk but i am grateful to anyone who checks out my trash writing so thank you :))
this update was horrendously late i'll try to get better with that
bye! hope you're having a great week
