Stained ~ Book Three Of The "Meant To Be" Series

Chapter 5

"Have you gone mad?" I ask roughly, roughly placing my jacket on the hanger. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I yell at him as he lets down his keys, breathes heavily and throws sharp looks at me. Cassie gasps as I curse. It's maybe the first time she's heard me say anything like that on front of them. She and Mason walk upstairs, Cassie balancing Mason so he won't fall down. "You called six police cars to find me when you knew I needed time to be alone! I am an adult, Tobias. I don't need you to look after me as if I'm a child!" He doesn't speak. He starts picking the broken glass I broke earlier today, without looking or responding at me. "You aren't gonna say anything, huh?" He sighs, letting down the last bits of glass in the garbage and faces me.
"What do you even want me to say?" He asks, his dark blue vibrant eyes staring at mine. My hands start to tremble again.
"I hate you," my voice breaks as I speak. He closes his eyes and his head drops. He starts walking closer to me and reaches our to pull me in his embrace but I step back. "No." He lets out a breath, looking up and trying to remain calm. His face reddens, and I feel like he wants to cry.
"Tris, I'm sorry. I really am . . . I just panicked and didn't know what was going on— still don't, actually. I'm just very concerned—" his hand slips on my waist, wanting to pull me closer but I yank myself away.
"Don't touch me," I say for the maybe fifth time today. "Stay away," I'm not telling him this because I'm mad at him, but because every time someone approaches me it makes me want to cry.
     "Tris, please don't be like this . . ." He tries to hold my hands but I pull them out of his reach. My lips press together and I watch him in awe, my hands tucked on my chest. There is dead silence. I can tell there is so much going through his head right now. His expression makes it obvious. "I am sorry," he says his words loud and clearly. "How many times do I have to say it," every muscle in his body tightens, his eyes filling with tears. "But if anything happened to you I would have gone insane. All I want is to protect you and the children. I know I overreacted and I am sorry for the way I acted today," he says, the distance between us makes him uncomfortable and I can tell he just wants to run and pick me in his arms.
     "Sometimes I think you still think of me as if I'm the immature sixteen year old in high school you first met. But no. I am old enough to protect and look over myself, and I won't die if I'm not next to you 27/4," I spit out and start walking upstairs. It's nine PM now. Since the police searched for me, they had to send me to the police station, question me, make sure I'm all right. There was a lot of waiting. So now it's night, and the children didn't go to he pool.
I enter Mason's room. Cassie is attempting to take his blouse off and help him slip into his pajamas. Mason looks like he's tasted something bitter, as Cassie struggles to pull his hands from the sleeves. I laugh slightly, for the first time today. "Let me help you," I kneel beside them, smiling and carefully take off his blouse and slip his pajama on.
"Mom, did you say the bad word?" She asks, looking at me with the corners of her eyes, uncomfortably playing with her hands. I pinch Mason's cheek and give him a warm smile, then sighing the smile off my face turning to Olivia.
     "Yes, and I apologize," I say, pressing my lips together.
     "I thought you said no one should ever use that word," she says blankly, picking the blouse I just undressed from Mason and tries to fold it.
     "I said it because I was angry, but I shouldn't have," I take the blouse from her hands, showing her how to do it correctly. "I'm sorry you didn't get to go to the pool today," I say, uniting the braid Zeke's wife, Shauna did while we waited in the police department. My hands softly separate the strands of hair and smoothen them with my fingers.
     "It's okay . . . But why didn't you want to go?" She asks.
     "We'll go next Sunday. Is that okay?" I suggest, avoiding her question. She nods her head, smiling weakly. I stand, picking Mason up in my arms and lying him on his crib. I kiss the top of his head and he smiles, hugging me loosely. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight," he repeats quietly. He's almost three now. He knows a few words, and he can speak a bit, but he still has a lot to learn. He and Cassie both have separate rooms. Mason's is right next to ours. We just started putting this room in use. He can speak a bit and walk. Our family doctor told us it was safe for him to start sleeping on his own, so we moved his crib here now. If he or Cassie ever wake up, Tobias immediately wakes due to his light sleep, causing me to do the same afterwards.
"Why did you and dad fight?" Asks Cassie as we walk to her room. She's in the phase where she's curious about everything, asking "What?", "Why?", "How?" Every minute.
"We didn't fight. We just has a little argument," I reply quietly, opening her closet and picking her nightdress. She prefers them to pajamas, just like I used to, and sometimes still do.
"But I thought you guys were in love," she whines in a quiet tone, knowing her little brother is trying to sleep. I shake my head, laughing softly.
"Oh, Cassie. Just because we had a few misunderstandings doesn't mean we don't love each other," I assure her, lifting the corners of my lips to brighten her mood and tell her everything's fine in some way. "You should sleep. You have school tomorrow. Have you done your homework?" I ask as I fold the outfit I choose for her tomorrow.
"Yes. Shana— I mean Shauna, helped me finish my math homework. At school we learned how to subtract!" She says in excitement.
"Uu, that's great," I act surprised. "You're learning so many things lately, aren't you?"
"Mhm," she nods her head, grinning as she puts her nightdress over her head. "But I still don't understand what gravity is," she says in disappointment.
"Why don't I explain it to you tomorrow? It's late now," I suggest, sitting on her bed to tuck her in. She sighs, putting but then says "Fine," and slides under the sheets. I kiss her forehead, "Goodnight."
"Goodnight, mom," she wraps her little arms around my neck and hugging me tightly. "Sweet dreams," she adds and turns on her shoulder, closing her eyes.

    It's almost three in the morning when I'm shaken from sleep. "Tris, wake up. Tris," Tobias shakes my shoulders in panic. I gasp, sitting up and looking around, realizing I'm in my room, next to Tobias. I wrap my hands around his neck tightly, breathing heavily, feeling my heart beat on my throat. "It's okay . . . You're safe," he whispers in my ear, hugging back. My muscles start aching from the tightness of my embrace and I let go, letting out a shaky breath and a choked sob afterwards. "Hey, hey," Tobias swipes my hair out of my face, cupping it in his hands and staring into my eyes intensely, "Tris, you're okay. It was just a nightmare. Please don't cry, please," his voice low and assuring.
    I try to control my breathing, my lower lip wobbling. The next thing I know is his lips are against mine, rushing warmness through my body, blurring my head, confusing me at how fast it happened. He pulls back a few seconds later, placing his hand on the side of my face. I open my eyes weakly. Tears stream down my face but I'm calmer now.
    My body goes limper, due to my sleepiness. Tobias supports my body and softly lies me back down, facing me, smoothing my hair as I feel him staring at me. I sniffle, wiping my cheeks with the sleeve of my nightdress.
      "I love you."