liar ー petekey [2017 bandfiction award winner]

TWO

Pete glances at his watch disdainfully. "What's his twenty?"

"He's moving. He has crazy eyes," Mikey says, knowing what will happen.

"Don't do it, Bob. Don't do it." Pete murmurs under his breath.

Bob stomps out of his office and slams the door. The office goes silent. "You poisonous bitch!"

Pete sighs.

Bob continues, "You can't fire me! You don't think I see what you're doing here? Sandbagging me on this whole Oprah thing so that you can look good to the board? Because you're threatened by me! And you. Are. A. Monster."

"Bob, stop." Pete says.

"Just because you have no semblance of a life outside this office, you think that you can treat us all like your own personal slaves! You know what? I feel sorry for you. Because you know what you're gonna have on your deathbed? Nothing and no one."

Pete turns. "Listen carefully, Bob. I didn't fire you because I feel threatened. No. I fired you because you're lazy, entitled, incompetent, and you spend more time cheating on your girlfriend than you do in your office. And if you say another word, Mikey here is going to have you thrown out, okay? Another word and you're going out with an armed escort."

Bob stays silent.

"I have work to do."

Pete walks off, and the office resumes chaos. Mikey follows closely behind Pete. Pete mutters to Mikey, "Have security take his breakfront and put it in my conference room."

"Will do."

"Oh, I need you this weekend to help review his files and his manuscript."

"Th-this weekend?"

"You have a problem with that?" Pete turns around and looks up at him.

"No. I... I was gonna go home Saturday for my grandmother's 90th birthday and stay until next Sunday. You told me I could- it's fine, I'll cancel it."

Pete nods and walks on.

Mikey calls after him. "You're saving me from a week of misery, so it's... Good talk. Yeah."

Mikey goes to his cubicle and immediately gets on the phone.

"Mom? Yeah, I can't make it this weekend. I know! I know, okay? Tell Grandma that I'm sorry, okay? What... Mom, what do you want me to tell you? He's making me work the weekend! No, I'm not quitting. No. I've worked too hard for this promotion to throw it all away."

Mikey pauses.

"Yeah, I'm sure that Dad is pissed, but..."

He turns to see Pete watching him.

"...we take all of our submissions around here very seriously. We'll get back to you as soon as we can. Yes. Thank you. Bye."

He hangs up.

"Was that your family?" Pete asks.

Mikey nods.

"They tell you to quit?"

Mikey grins. "Every single day."

Mikey gets another call. He picks it up. "Way Cubicle, how may I be of service?"

He looks at Pete.

"Bergen and Malloy want to see you upstairs."

Pete groans. "Okay, come get me in 10 minutes. We've got a lot of work to do."