You're The Patient

Chapter: 2

I woke up the next morning to somebody ringing my doorbell, I groan but get up. I try to quickly make myself look presentable; I’m still self-conscious even at this age. I peek through the peephole in the door to see it’s only Wilson. I open the door and he’s beaming. “Dude, its like 6 why are you here?” I asked groggily but letting him in. “Sorry just thought I’d give you a lift to work, and to maybe House could see us walk in together, which will lead him on more” he winked, I giggled “sorry Wilson cat’s out of the bag” I shrugged, he frowned “oh damn, he’s too good sometimes” he chuckled. “We can still carpool if you want?” I asked, flashing a smile, he grinned sincerely and replied with a simple “okay” “good! Now, just let me get ready and we’ll be on our way. Make yourself at home!” I exclaimed as I ran up the stairs and into the bathroom, to take a shower.

As Wilson and I drive over to the hospital we were singing along to the radio, the current song playing was Day Tripper by The Beatles. After the song ended, we started laughing, “We sound good, man. We should go on the road and I’m not talking battles, I’m talking gigs,” I said with a slight hippy accent, Wilson laughed “oh totally, just quit being a Doctor and become a rock band. That’s a great career move” I laughed, “of course, we can let House join and we can call ourselves The Cripples and we’ll be the biggest sensation since Green Day!” I exclaimed pumping my fist in the air, Wilson laughed but shook his head mockingly.

Wilson and I walked in laughing together, House stared at us curiously “what are you bumbling idiots laughing about, this is a hospital this isn’t a place for laugher” we both stopped and stared at him, “whoa way to sound like Cuddy” I smirked, “the last thing I am is Cuddy” he scoffed, Wilson rolled his eyes “sure… I better go and tend to my patients, I’ll see you guys later” he said as he walked out. I sat down and then rummaged through my backpack to find my pills, I finally found them and took two of them dry, then put them away, House was watching the whole time. “So where the hell is everybody else?” I asked, House shrugged, “I don’t know… its like almost 7 they don’t get here until like 7:30” “aw fuck, I’m that early? Damn Wilson” “what don’t like being early for work? That hurt, I thought you looked forward to seeing me everyday” he pretended to pout, “I’m not Cameron I don’t cherish the ground you limp on” “Cameron likes me?” “Dude, she’s like in love with you, I can’t believe you didn’t notice…” “Hmm, you think I could tap that?” I shrugged, “I wouldn’t be surprised, she really isn’t into sex though, it makes her ‘uncomfortable’” I said putting air quotes around “uncomfortable”, “never mind, I’m all about sex that relationship won’t last” I grinned, “that doesn’t surprise me at all” he shrugged. Then Cuddy walked in, “there you are Amanda” “uh oh Amanda’s in trouble!” House mocked in a kid’s voice. “You still owe me 6 clinic hours this week” I groaned, “Can I please not do them…” “You know you have to, it is part of your job” “but —!” I began to say but then she cut me off “no ifs, ands, or buts! Just do it and get it done and over with” I sighed aggravated and started to slowly shuffle out the door, “oh c’mon Cuddy, stop torturing the poor kid” House said standing up for me, she then gave an annoyed laugh, “like you’re any better” she smirked evilly and walked out with me.

I randomly grab a folder, sigh, and then walk into Exam Room 1. There’s a woman sitting their look really worried. The main reason I always hated Clinic Duties was because how stupid these people are, they expect the worst but then it turns out to be something totally stupid and non-life threatening, I mean its common sense. “So what’s wrong?” I sighed examining the chart. “Well after running for 6 hours straight for the past week, my leg has began to hurt and I was getting really concerned” I stared at her, I swear to god I was trying to restrain myself from slapping her, instead to make this more interesting for me I decided to screw around with her. “Wow, that sounds really serious…” “H-how serious?” “Possibly life-threatening? But what would I know, I’m not the best Orthopedic Doctor, so let me go ahead and call my College who knows better” she nodded her head vigorously obviously scared. I dial House’s room number. “What do you want?” he answered, “I need you opinion on something” I could feel his smirk “be right down” I hang up and turn back to her, “he’ll be here any minute” just then House knocks on the door and walks in. “What seems to be the problem?” he asks, “oh she has been running for 6 hours everyday and is wondering why her leg hurts” I asked, she looked so scared I could laugh right there, “oh that doesn’t sound too good” House said as he examined her. “Well?” she asked her voice quivering, House looked at me “I think you should tell her” I sigh and nod then get up and walk over to him and the patient. “You have Arthritis” her jaw dropped, then House and I started to laugh hysterically, she looked between both of us. “How is that funny? I have Arthritis!” she shouted at us, we both started to die down then House spoke “you don’t have Arthritis, ever thought about resting after a run? It’s called Muscle Fatigue, you need to let you muscles get air or else they cramp” “next!” I yelled she gave us both dirty looks as she left.