Random Excerpts in Thought

The Downpour

It's always gray where I live, the clouds covering up the sun's rays of light which honestly has no effect on me. I love the rain, and I love storms too. I always have, from the time of being a child to almost an adult. But I guess you can say it doesn't always have a good effect on me. I mean, today, I miss someone. Someone I care about. Someone I've had a mad crush on before we stopped taking... I still miss her, though. She gave me life when we knew each other but three years later and we are hardly speaking to each other. I doubt she's mentioned my name at all. AT ALL.

But today was the day things changed. Today was the festival in town and I planned on meeting some friends. I texted one of them, Jackson, if he would meet me at the Dollar Store just on the corner of the intersection where the festival was mainly held at. So, after getting ready I headed out the door and noticed something out of the ordinary. The sky was darker than usual. A darker gray usually indicated that it was going to storm, now whether it was just dark because of the day ending or there's actually going to be a big thunderstorm is beyond me. I headed down the driveway and onto the sidewalk toward town. I slipped my ear buds into my ears and decided to play some music before I got there; the music almost made me feel like I was in a movie of some sort or that the lyrics or beat of the song went with how I felt most of the time, but I shrugged it off and kept walking.

My phone buzzed and I glanced down at it. It was a text message from a random number and it read "Is this Darek". I replied "Yes" and immediately I received a reply saying "Meet me at the gas station behind the building. Soon."

That was weird. Should I actually go meet this person? Who gave them my number? How exactly was this person?

I kept walking.

Soon I got to town and realized the clouds got darker and I heard thunder, roaring in the distance behind me. Sweet music to my ears. I liked thunder, but I LOVE lightning. If you caught it just right, you'd see the lightning patterns given off when lightning streaked across the sky; it was beautiful. I came up to the corner of the sidewalk where the road intersected and I stopped; should I go see this person or go meet my friends at the Dollar Store? Straight to the gas station or right to the Dollar Store?

I went right, and I continued going right with no hesitation to stop. If they want to see me that bad they can come get me.

"Hey, finally you're here," Jackson's voice rose as he saw me appear in front of the store. Rose and Caroline were also there with him which made it more comforting for me. Soon we all took off from the store after buying a few things and what I never caught on to was that on our way to the festival, we went to the gas station and came out. But I didn't see anyone there that looked like they were the one who needed to see me ASAP. Might've been just a prank; good thing I avoided it.

As we continued on our way to the festival we passed a group of people and out of the corner of my eye I saw someone.

I saw her.

She caught me looking and I quickly averted my gaze from her, but I guess I didn't get off that easy.

"Darek," a voice spoke from behind me and I stopped, everyone ahead of me kept going as I notice only myself stopping in my tracks. I turned and I felt electrifying chills quiver up my spine.

It was her. What did she want?

"Did you get my text? I was waiting over by the gas station looking for you; I wanted to talk to you about something."

After three cold years in deep regret, she finally wanted to say something to me? Other than feeling upset and frustrated, I also felt safe and comfortable because... It was her for crying out loud. Oh, how my mind and heart love to fight with each other; it's great.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry, my friends really wanted me over there with them."

"I can tell," she spoke softly as if she knew I was lying, "anyway, can you come with me real quick?"

"Sure," I replied, completely unsure of what was to happen next. She gently took my wrist and lead me off in the opposite direction of where my friends went. As we went through crowds and crowds of people I found myself standing in front of her behind the gas station building, where it was quiet and calm. What did she want to say to me that she couldn't say to me in public?

"Darek," she began, "I want to talk about us."

"What do you mean 'us'?"

"I know we haven't spoke in a long time, but I just needed time to wrap my head around things. The things you've said to me, what I said to you in return. I wasn't who you probably thought I was, and I'm sorry."

"But that was three years ago, Karon. Ever since we stopped talking I just... I needed to push away from things. Some feelings I needed to throw away. Some-"

"Feelings," she interrupted, "you had feelings for me?"

I held my breath for a second, "Yes."

"So I guess that's why you told me that... That you needed space from the world and your own heart because your mind told you otherwise and was right, because I helped prove it was right... Right?"

"I was young and stupid, okay? It was years ago."

"But that doesn't mean anything. Do you still carry those feelings with you?"

"...No." I lied. Right through my own teeth.

"Look, I hope we're still friends."

"Still friends?" I blurted out, "How can I still be friends with someone who broke my heart? Yes, my feelings are still with me. There so close to me I'm just breathing them in; I'm drinking my own feelings and getting drunk on the thought that you'd someday understand how much I lo-"

And that was that. She kissed me, right on the lips and I didn't hesitate to kiss back. But what really struck me was that when it happened I somehow teleported to my bed under my blanket. My eyes opened and realized I was in my room.

That's when I realized.

I never went to the festival with my friends.

She never texted me,

and she never kissed me.

It was all a dream.

A dream.