Bluestar x Oakheart - What Could Have Been

Chapter One ~ A New Leader Rises

Bluestar sat atop Highrock, watching her Clan. Spottedleaf was carrying herbs across to the medicine cat's den, her bright yellow eyes shining in the sunlight. Dappletail and One-eye were sharing tongues outside the elder's den, sheltered in the shade. Bluestar felt proud at how far her Clan had come since she began her rule as leader. ThunderClan had not lost a single battle except for Sunningrocks. 

She winced as she remembered how badly wounded her warriors had been. She'd lifted her head to StarClan and prayed that Oakheart was not fatally wounded in the battle. Now, Bluestar closed her eyes and allowed the memory of Oakheart's fur against hers as they sat atop one of the Great Oaks at Fourtrees to take over for a moment. Oh, my beloved. How I miss you. Shaking the memory away, she turned and retreated to her den, where she slept, her dreams filled with a reddish-brown tom who was once her whole world.

A paw prodding her side roused her some time later. "Bluestar!" She groggily opened her eyes to see her deputy, Redtail, standing in front of her. She yawned, stretched and shook herself before sitting with her tail wrapped neatly around her paws. "Yes, Redtail?"

"There's news from RiverClan," he began. Immediately, Bluestar's heart lurched. Please, StarClan, be merciful. 

"Crookedstar is dead."

Shock shot through Bluestar like a lightning bolt. "What? When?" The light-coloured tabby had changed a lot since she first met him as a young apprentice. Since their first fight at Sunningrocks all those moons ago, he had become a powerful warrior; as had she. 

"Three days ago, from greencough," Redtail replied, his tail swishing from side to side. "Oakheart went to receive his leader name the same night." He tilted his head to one side. "We haven't gone to formally welcome him as a leader yet."

Bluestar's fur was on end. Her mind spun at the thought of her former mate now not only being a rival warrior, but a rival leader. What am I going to do? What if ThunderClan and RiverClan have to fight? I can't go against him! She added to herself sadly, I never have.

"Bluestar?" Redtail prompted. Bluestar snapped back to reality and shook her fur. "I think we should wait a few days," she replied, trying to keep her voice steady.

Redtail seemed surprised. "Why?"

Bluestar shook her head, not knowing what to say. "There's plenty of time."

"But when?" Redtail pressed. Bluestar wanted to yowl at him to keep his jaws shut, but she held her tongue. "In two days, after the first patrols have gone out." Hopefully, there won't be as many RiverClan warriors to watch the spectacle. 

Redtail stared at her a few seconds, his tail tip flicking, before he dipped his head. "Okay."

"Find some warriors who will be willing to come with us." Getting to her paws, she gracefully strolled to the entrance of her den. "Watch over the camp while I'm gone."

"Where are you going?" Redtail asked.

Bluestar looked back. "To the ravine." She didn't wait a second longer. Dashing out of the camp, she raced through the undergrowth, leaves and branches whipping her pelt as she ran, chest heaving with every shuddering breath she took. Not slowing her pace, she leapt up the ravine, not even noticing she'd raced past it and was instead heading to a whole different place.

When Bluestar skidded to a halt, legs trembling from overexertion, she realised she'd come to Fourtrees. For a few moments, she only stood, staring at one of the four Great Oaks. The same one she and Oakheart had climbed. Oakstar, now, she reminded herself. It felt uncomfortable to be calling him by his new name. None of this seemed real yet.  As she padded over the edge and down into the hollow, she thought she detected a scent amongst the earthy scents of the forest. Bristling, she opened her jaws and pricked her ears, straining for any sign of another cat. Had Redtail followed her? 

A deep, achingly familiar mew startled her, pulling her out of her trance.

"You came here too?"

Bluestar whirled, and set her eyes on the new RiverClan leader himself. Her throat instantly locked up at the sight of his reddish-brown fur, the intensity of his amber eyes. She'd left camp to try and figure out how she was going to handle having to see Oakstar again at such close quarters, surrounded by their warriors who would most certainly be watching their every move, and now, here he was right in front of her.

She swallowed, and managed to croak, "I . . ." Oakstar stared at her, expectant. "I want you to know I never forgot you, Oakstar." She winced at the sound of his new name.

Oakstar's gaze was soft and full of affection. Pain tore through Bluestar's heart as the tom murmured, "Nor I you."

They stared at each other for a few more heartbeats before Bluestar finally gave way to the inner desire she'd kept inside her for so long, and, pelting towards him, she rubbed her head against his shoulder. She felt Oakstar relaxing, responding to her touch; pulling back and rubbing his head against hers. A purr rumbled in Bluestar's chest, and she heard Oakstar purring too.

Oakstar moved his head so their noses touched. "I've missed you so much, Bluestar," he whispered.

"I've missed you, too," Bluestar confessed. His scent brought memoriessurging back and Bluestar's heart twisted. She still understood that their love could never be, and she knew deep inside her that he did, too.

Oakstar suddenly pulled away from Bluestar. The happiness that was bubbling in Bluestar's chest evaporated like mist as Oakstar sat in front of her with his tail curled around his paws. He must have seen the pain in her eyes, because he looked apologetic. "Sorry, Bluestar," he said, dipping his head to her. "It's just . . . we're in broad daylight. Anyone could be watching us."

Bluestar realised he was right, and felt incredibly stupid for being so foolish. Stupid turned to sad as she whispered, "You said once that if they couldn't see us here, they couldn't see us anywhere."

Oakstar nodded, his gaze becoming distant. "So I did." Clearing his throat, he looked at her. 

"It doesn't feel right to be calling you Oakstar," she confessed. "I've always known you as Oakheart."

"You'll always be Bluefur to me," Oakstar breathed, and Bluestar shook her head, mind whirling. "No," she gasped. "It's too soon for statements like that."

Oakstar looked hurt for a moment, Bluestar knew she couldn't stay there any longer, otherwise her heart was going to burst out of her chest. "Oakstar, I have to go." She turned away from him, not wanting to look back. "Bluestar, no! Not yet!" Oakstar bounded forward and stood in front of her. "I can't bear to have you leave me again," he whispered.

"It's like I said," Bluestar said, meeting his gaze evenly. "If we keep meeting like this, we'll only end up being hurt. And look what's happening right now."

Oakstar stared into her eyes as he repeated the statement that had once made her heart lurch all those moons ago: "The only thing that can hurt me is being apart from you." Bluestar stared into his eyes a moment longer before hardening herself once more. "I'll be coming with a patrol to your camp in two days to formally welcome you as leader."

Oakstar blinked. "I'll be waiting," he promised.

As Bluestar started padding up the slope, Oakstar called, "I love you, Bluefur."

Bluestar stopped at Oakstar's bold declaration. And not only that, he used her old name. A mixture of affection and pain filled her chest, and she whispered back, "I love you too, Oakheart." Then she ran away, wanting to get as far away from this nightmare as possible. That little meeting had only made her feelings for Oakstar stronger than ever before. 

After she'd rolled in ferns to cover Oakstar's scent, she'd padded through camp, ignoring Redtail's questions, and curled up in her nest with her back to the outside world.

This wasn't going to be easy.